Drop the judgment

Inspired by my life & Gabby Bernstein

This blog post is not only for you to drop the judgment, it is also for me, it is for everyone.  It’s my reflection of life.

I’m writing this article today, as someone close to me has been judging another person close to me for the last three years. This created a feeling of being torn, of disruption within me. Now, this morning, the said judgment has been dropped. And I instantly felt such a big relief. Tears were shed. I smiled. And my heart filled up with even more love.

Stop the vicious circle

This incident made me realise stronger than ever just how quickly we judge others. And then once we realise we judged someone else, we judge ourselves for having judged. What a vicious circle!

I’m sure we all struggle with judgment every single day. That’s okay. However, let’s make an effort all together to show more love, openness and compassion to the people surrounding us and to ourselves! We won’t be able to change our behaviour within one day, but how about taking the first step?

The first step: Notice & feel

The first step for anything relating to personal development is always to be honest with yourself and to notice any judgment patterns that you may have. Notice, when you judge. Notice, what you judge. Notice, how you judge. Notice, why you judge. Notice the feelings arising. Feel!

The second step: Understand

The second step is to understand the associated feelings with judgment. This goes hand in hand with the reasons for judging. Very often, judging another person or behaviour makes us feel better, at least for that moment. In a way, judgment is a result of comparisons. Since we compare ourselves to others a lot thinking that others might be ‘better’ at something, ‘smarter’ or ‘prettier’, we start the judgment process, mostly to protect ourselves. Instead of accepting that yes, there are other people out there who might be ‘better’ at something, we almost automatically jump into the process of judgment.

‘She never managed this on her own.’ ‘He is only successful because of his parents.’ ‘I’m sure she had surgery.’ 

Sounds familiar? Why can we not accept others for who they are. Why can we not accept and love ourselves just the way we are. Why do not embrace our individuality? Why do we strive for meaningless competitiveness? Why are we so harsh on ourselves?

If, whilst reading this, you reflect on my words…

Stop judging yourself.

Life is not just black and white.

Begin with noticing. Continue with feeling. Go on with understanding.

The third step: Heal

In order to heal judgement, we need to start a transformation from the inside out.

  • Move to love. Accept what is for yourself and others.
  • Move to individuality & authenticity. Accept that everyone is different.
  • Move to your true self. Feel the relief once you’ve returned to your truth.

Be kind to yourself though and be clear that it’s difficult to be judgment free all the time. What counts is how quickly you notice judgment and move through the steps above.

I just know that this practice holds so many ‘goodies’ for us. Less tension, more ease and peace, relief, freedom, more love and compassion and most importantly for me:

Happiness from the inside out.

If you truly want to live a happier life, I invite you to to join my workshop Feel Understand Heal in Munich on Friday, 8th June, 6-9pm. Click here for details.

Let’s do this journey to love, light and happiness together.

Yours, Nina

 

 

Oh Cambodia!

I’m so grateful!

  • … for travelling.
  • … to have visited Cambodia.
  • … to have stayed in a yoga & meditation temple.
  • … that I found yoga & meditation for my life.
  • … that I meet beautiful people wherever I go.

Meeting new people is such a wonderful experience. When I travelled through Cambodia, I enjoyed this experience every single day. I stayed in a yoga & meditation retreat in Kep for 2 weeks. Check out Vagabond Temple, if you are looking for spiritual inspiration & growth, great yoga classes, guidance in meditation and meeting like-minded people from all over the world.

I also booked an Ayurveda detoxification package with sessions spread over 5 days, so you should be a guest for a minimum of 5 days. The package included 4 wonderful Ayurvedic massages plus a session with the founder of the retreat Kobi. My healer Maayan and me started with feet reflexology and seriously this woman has magical hands. I noticed fairly quickly how tight certain parts in my feet were, ouch!, but it all made sense, since these points related to my lower back and hamstrings and yes, they were tight. This session was incredible. Whilst I thought that Maayan was still massaging my feet, she suddenly stood next to me informing me that the massage was finished. What?! This showed me how deeply relaxed I was. For the afternoon she recommended to just be and relax and to take the afternoon yoga practice slow.

More being, less doing.

This is something so valuable I learned during my time at the retreat center. Not only Maayan mentioned this to me specifically to rest more, but also Pazit held an incredible Dharma talk about the topic More being, less doing. Why? Because most of us are so caught up with daily To Do lists, tasks & self-imposed responsibilities, social media and overall distraction, that we forget to simply be. Without looking at our smart phone. Without doing anything. Just being.

Just sit and be still.

Another aha-moment for me was when I visited Maayan the 2nd time for a full body Ayurvedic massage. She hugged me tightly and from her heart and asked me how I was doing. I replied: “Actually good.” She asked: “Actually?” Me: “Hm, no I’m really good.” This situation showed me that I was relativising my mood, although I felt awesome, freaking great, amazing. And so we started reflecting on this conversation and our impulse to relativise things. I instantly noticed for myself that I get the impression it’s more accepted in society to hold back, to be not that great, to moan. But if you say you are doing really great, then you are kind of weird. Different. Maybe arrogant. So, maybe that’s why we make ourselves worse, because we might also get more attention if we say “I’m okay.” Followed by the next question “Why, what’s going on?” as opposed to no question, when you say you are doing great. Well, at least that is my observation, as the entire blog is, just as a reminder.

We continued with a full body massage and again/still, my hip area was tight. I fully relaxed and even saw bright white and yellow lights. Maayan explained that the tightness probably comes from my will to push forward. Because I’m doing too much and being too little. She assured me that I’m still young and that I still have enough time to get to where I want to be. That it’s important to accept that life throws us back at times or makes us go left and right, but that we can continue our path anyways. Accept what is. Accept the throwbacks, meander and changes in life.

You will continue your path.

This inspiring conversation took me straight to my pink notebook wondering where the urge to do comes from. Am I afraid of dying before having fully lived the life that I always wanted to live? Do I do, because I want to live my dream life as quickly as possible, for as long as possible? Am I scared of regretting not to have done enough?

If you are following my blog since the start then you will know that I had my breakthrough in a Reiki session in Mexico, whilst travelling through Latin America for almost 6 months. And so it happened that Maayan and me included a Reiki session into my package. I would love to share with you my main learnings from this session.

  • Follow up on what you see in your dreams.
  • Follow your path.
  • Take care of yourself. Self-love first.
  • Do not absorb negative energies.
  • Go for it.

Go for it!

The last part of the Ayurveda package was with Kobi. After a few minutes of talking, we found ourselves in a very exciting talk about astrology and my sign (=Gemini). Kobi is an absolute expert in this field, so if you are into it and you visit Cambodia, schedule an appointment with him now. Again, details of this conversation would go beyond the scope of this blog post, but let me share with you my learnings which I’m sure will be so valuable for you, too, as these are independent from your astrological sign.

  • Letting someone read my astrological sign made me understand myself more, it gave me more empathy for me, my behaviours and my decisions.
  • Do not compromise on yourself. You are who you are.
  • Set your boundaries. Write down your red lines in the different areas of life.
  • Appreciate validation from others, but do not seek it.
  • Believe in yourself.

Believe in yourself.

Oh Cambodia! Thank you so much for having me and enriching my life so strongly and positively that I feel freer and more confident than ever before. Thank you to all of you wonderful people who accompanied me on this journey.

Love, love, love.

Yours, Nina