Limit the input

Does this headline sound contradicting to you for a blog that is predominantly about personal growth? Definitely read on.

Over the past 4 years, I’ve been diving deeper into myself, also referred to as personal development. I reflected not only on myself, my fears and my limitations, but also on how this showed in my relationships, with friends, family and partners.

On this journey – which is an ongoing process – I have learned a lot about myself. I was able to dissolve certain behavioural patterns that were limiting me due to underlying fears. I tuned deeper into my body to let go of tensions that have been building up and manifesting in my body for way too long. I work with coaches both personally and professionally to become the best version of myself. I completed an NLP training to improve my communication skills, to dive deeper into self-reflection and to change patterns that didn’t serve me any more with the clear objective to build a life that I really want to live.

So far so good. I believe that this ongoing journey of self-reflection and self-development is awesome. I  really wouldn’t change a thing looking back. It all served its purpose; every single change, every heartbreak, every challenge that I encountered in my life so far, were signs of the universe to correct my course; by looking deeper, by understanding and by initiating change.

More sensitivity

What I am also observing whilst being on this journey is that I’ve become way more sensitive with all my senses. I hear more, I see more, I feel more. I’d even say I smell and taste more thanks to my work with dōTERRA essential oils.

To really break this down for you, I hear people talking, the bells of the church, sirens, cars, children, water flowing, my steps on the ground, my diffuser running. I hear podcasts, audios and music. I hear myself talking. I could keep going.

I see more. My vision has expanded. I perceive more people in the tube and also what they do. I see the trees moving in the wind, children playing in the streets, people drinking coffee, I see people looking at other people, I observe couples walking hand in hand, I see the sun, the moon and the sky being in movement.

I feel more. I’ve become way more kinaesthetic, I’ve improved my awareness of the position and movement of the parts of my body. I can feel tension way quicker and I do know how to release it faster. I perceive (more) vibes from other people, their feelings, their energies, their current state of being. Again, I could keep going.

More input – more output?

My point is that this increased awareness also means that I sometimes must limit the input, as otherwise it becomes too overwhelming. At a certain point in a certain phase, more input simply doesn’t mean more output. It is essential at this point to limit the input and to focus on processing and digesting all of it. I am only human, as are you, so I figured it’s okay to limit my input.

How?

By closing my eyes just like on the pic. By spending more time by myself. I have noticed that I need more me-time and less together-time when in a phase of limiting input. This means that I would have lunch breaks on my own instead of going with others. I’m not going out a lot at the moment and unfortunately I haven’t been dancing a lot lately. Yes, it is a process of withdrawing myself, and whilst I’ve had phases where I didn’t even understand why I was doing it, I am now fully embracing my need of being alone. Depending on the current life and business set up, the people surrounding me do not always understand my behaviour and my withdrawal, which in return isn’t always easy for me to accept. Yet, I’m learning and growing through this process and I accept that this is part of my personal journey, too and that I do not have to or want to justify for that. It is what I need.

And it’s okay!

I’ve for sure learned that it is okay for me to withdraw myself, if it all gets too much. I’m understanding that my increased awareness and self-reflection led me to being a more sensitive human being called Nina. Whilst in the past I was 90% outgoing, social and extroverted, I am now in need of downtime and quiet time, too. These two facets allow me a better balance in life, more time to process and digest situations, and very importantly, more self-love. I’m freeing myself as much as possible from the opinion of others when it comes to my health and my wellbeing. No, it’s not always easy, but you gotta do what is right, not what’s easy.

Go with what you need!

When I feel the need to socialise, I will. When I feel the need to be alone, I will. When I feel the need to be active, I will. When I feel the need not to talk about certain topics, I won’t. When I feel the need to set boundaries, I will. When I feel the need to speak up, I will. And no, this is never against someone or something, it just means I follow up on what I need and follow through with it.

You can do this, too. Limit your input when you feel like it and don’t feel bad for it.

Love,

yours Nina

 

 

 

 

 

 

Loving what is

Inspired by the fabulously smart Byron Katie.

Don’t we all know that we are better off when we accept those things in our lives that we cannot change anyways?

Don’t we know that we shouldn’t put any energy into things that we don’t believe in?

Don’t we know that by judging other people we actually judge ourselves?

I guess the answer is ‘YES’ on each of these questions. Yet, we find ourselves in exactly those situations over and over again.

We get angry when a situation or a person winds us up, although IT IS.

We feel exhausted, sad or misunderstood when – often for the sake of others – we invest our time, money and efforts into things that we don’t actually believe in, leaving us frustrated, because we didn’t say no, leaving us feeling guilty when we did, leaving us unsatisfied, because we didn’t invest our time into the things that really matter to us. And yet, IT IS.

We feel hurt, when we are being judged by people. And still, IT IS.

I’ve been wondering: If it is all so clear, then why is it so damn hard to love what is? Why do we spend so much time thinking, moving everything from right to left in our head, analysing, hoping, wishing for a change (in others)?

My answer:

Because it is a process.

And according to Byron Katie: Because you have to do the work first.

Any negative or restricting emotion, be it disappointment, fear, anger or sadness, derives from somewhere within us. Not from somewhere outside of us. This is the 1st step for improvement and for getting closer to loving what it is. Because IT IS.

We won’t stop projecting certain feelings into other people or situations, unless we are aware that this is what we do. We are responsible for our life and hence our emotions, feelings and actions. It’s not the responsibility of anyone else. This is in my opinion the 2nd step towards loving what is. Because IT IS.

We will repeat what we don’t repair. So, we should really look into everything that IS. To start repairing what lies within us, to then dissolve what lies within others. Ask yourself in the entire process:

Is this the truth?

Then you will be ready to start your healing process. And this healing process will lead you to

Loving what is.

Yours, Nina

PS: I’m in the middle of the process and it is worth starting. Send me a pink note, if you want to share your thoughts or comment on the article. 

 

 

 

 

 

Embrace change

Our lives can change to the positive, once we start embracing change.

It is funny how things changed my life in only 6 months after I left London to travel through Latin America. Once I started embracing the changes, I found that my life changed for the better. I trust that life has a plan for everyone and I guess in my case, the  relationship was simply not meant to last, but it was meant to bring me on this journey that would change my life fully. Life had better plans for me. Once I trusted myself and life, it all started working out by itself. Like a puzzle finally coming together.

Life has better plans for you. Trust the journey.

I believe we all want to control situations, other people, reactions, behaviours and life. But we also know that gaining control is impossible. If a person is meant to be in your life, he/she will. If you are meant to have that job, then you’ll get it. If a relationship ends, then it wasn’t meant to be. Just trust that life has a plan for you. Let go!

We also behave in certain ways and patterns hoping and expecting other people to recognise this and to act likewise and then we are deeply disappointed, if our expectations are not met. Expectations are a big challenge in today’s world, as most people look for their happiness outside of themselves. However, happiness can only ever be sought within ourselves. This means it is essential to be fully happy and at peace with yourself.

Once you are happy with yourself – and this is of course a process that you need to be ready to start – you’ll find that you can let go more and more, that you don’t want to control as much anymore, and that you’ll have less expectations on other people. That doesn’t mean by the way that we shouldn’t live up to our best possible standards and values, but we can’t expect other people to guess our expectations and to act the same way.

Disappointment is usually the result of miscommunication or lack of communication, based on our beliefs. In order to avoid disappointment, it’s therefore critical that we communicate our beliefs, values and wishes in every relationship, be it professional or personal. Dare to speak your truth and the right people will come into your life and those people who were meant to accompany you only for a certain period of time, let them go.

Be grateful that you had them in your life, as you can learn something from each and every person and every situation. Just think about it. I am for example grateful for the relationship that ended during the trip, as life waved at me saying that I needed to be true to myself and my values. I’m grateful that this relationship somehow brought me on that journey. Who knows, maybe I wouldn’t have done it on my own…?

Let’s embrace change, love ourselves and be grateful.

Yours, Nina