The defined life

As you know, my articles are always based on my own life and experiences. Lately I’ve been wondering where our urge comes from to define things.

I am in a phase of my life, where I am ‘redefining’ things and so I couldn’t help but notice that most of us have an urge to define things, to fix things, to determine things. We define our lives by defining the world we live in. And I have a feeling we do that in all systems of our life. Be it the job, the living situation, friendships and especially relationships. Everything is defined. But why?

We rate by stating.

We automatically rate our environment based on our perception of the world and whatever we perceive we instantly want to state.

I have to say that based on my personal development and becoming more conscious of my behavioural patterns, I definitely had a tendency, a strong one haha, to define things, too. And it’s okay. However, now, I’m realising stronger than ever just how much I have actually missed out on by defining things in advance and before they even get a chance to develop. Into whatever.

It has all been part of my beautiful learning process. No regrets.

And that is my point. Why do you need to know in advance which direction things are heading to? Why do you need to know today if the job that is okay for now is the job forever? Why do you need to know if the flat or house you live in will be your place of living for the next years? Why do you need to know if the guy you’re dating at the moment is the partner for the rest of your live?

Just think about it: Whenever you are in the process of defining things, you are actually not living in the now. Your thoughts have already wandered ahead of the life you are living now. You are losing touch with being here and now. You are losing touch with this beautiful moment. You are losing touch with enjoying that specific moment or stage in your life, because you are already thinking ahead, you already want to define things.

I have understood that defining things is only a form of control that stems from fear.

Enjoying life is a form of flow that stems from love.

Love for the moment.

All I want to do with this article is to inspire you to let go of definitions, to let go of control so that you, too, can be in flow.

Yours, Nina

Who loves, dances.

What comes to your mind when you hear the word love? Let me guess, probably words like ‘relationship, partner, man, woman’? Isn’t that interesting that the majority of us associates the word love with something extrinsic, something external, something outside of us, something that we give to someone and that we receive by someone else?

Love is intrinsic

Love is something intrinsic to you, to me, to all of us. It’s nothing outside of us, love is inside us. It’s called self-love. Love is simply there, it is what we were born with, with love from the inside out. Isn’t it beautiful? So, the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. If you hear love, and you think about the relationship with yourself, then that’s great. This is what should come to our mind, when we hear the word love. It is a process though, as we’ve been raised thinking we first need to do and to accomplish something before we are fully loved and before we can then love ourselves.

But NO! I want you to know that you are beautiful just the way you are, you are loved, just for being yourself, and it is our natural human potential to love ourselves.

When you fully love yourself, only then can you show true and deep love to someone else. Only then can you experience & receive love fully. So, fill up your love tank. It is already inside you. The good news is that you can grow love inside you and that there aren’t any bad news associated with it.

Grow love inside you

Here is some guidance on how to do that. Please note awareness is key.

  • Live in the present moment as much as possible. Do not overthink the past or the future, but focus on the now.
  • Practice more being, less doing.
  • Watch yourself. Say STOP to negative thoughts, once you notice them and before a whole story arises with it. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts instead.
  • Don’t be too hard on yourself, meaning do not fight your body, mind and spirit. Instead take care of your body, watch your thoughts and feel your present emotions, no matter if it is sadness, anger or jealousy. Do not fight it, accept what is, love what is.
  • Be creative and enjoy the process of creating. Whatever it may be. For me it’s for example creating a yoga class or a workshop. For me being creative also means dancing, following my feelings with my body and to express myself whilst dancing.
  • Live your life according to your true self.
  • Be authentic, be yourself, be happy.

What is your creative passion that only waits to be released?

Over the past years, I have developed a strong sense for myself, for my whole being. I have improved access to my intuition and I’ve sharpened my listening and ‘reading between the lines’ skills. I have more love and understanding for myself than ever. I live in line with my true self as best as I can, every single day. When my love tank is full, I can draw from it at any given moment, for myself and others!

Don’t be too hard on yourself

And yet, I also have days when the above doesn’t really work, when I feel stuck in the past or in the future, when I’m busy doing stuff, when I don’t feel well-aligned, when I feel distracted, sad or angry. But you know what? I do notice and being aware is the most important step for change and creation. Moreover, I’ve learned not to be too hard on myself anymore. It simply doesn’t help, instead it slows down the process even more. So, love yourself! Practice self-love! Be kind to yourself!

Who loves, dances

Oh yes! When you understand that love is within you always, once you’ve filled up your love tank and when you are kind to yourself always, then you will just feel so full of love that your heart will have no other chance but dance!

In my case, I literally mean dancing. I love dancing to express myself. Whilst dancing, I’m in my highest alignment. I’m always dancing, inside out!

When do you start ‘dancing’?

Much love.

Yours, Nina

 

 

 

 

When wishing for the pause button

As the year 2017 came to an end, I reflected and reviewed my big and small wins and well as what I failed at, what I could have done better. No worries, I’m not going to write this all down here, but I think it is important for every single one of us to complete that bit of work. Not to beat ourselves up, but on the contrary. Because I noticed that I actually achieved a lot, there were loads of small wins, that I didn’t give myself enough credit during the year. Btw, I’m not only talking about projects, but also shifts in my mindset, changes in my behaviour and actions taken. Of course I also recognised my failures, but the good thing is, you can only learn from them, you can make things better next time. Just be conscious of yourself, your behaviours and actions. Be mindful of those behaviours and actions you’d like to change and then just think “Oh, I was just about to do it again” and then act differently. Break that habit!

Be mindful and break that habit.

After I reviewed my big and small wins, I also pictured my 2018. I wrote down my vision for 2018 at the end of last year. My vision relating to various aspects in my life, like my job/work situation, health & fitness, love, relationship and my ideal set up to live. I thought to myself “Well done, Nina” until I had a call with my coach on 2nd of January to dig deeper into my vision and my associated goals. Despite my daily gratitude, yoga and meditation practice, there were still a few challenges and limiting beliefs that needed to be melted in order to reach my true vision – speaking from my heart. And we did. After the session, I went back to my vision and it sounded too rational in a way, so I re-wrote it completely. I moved from my head to my heart. And I was brave enough to listen.

Move from your head to your heart. And listen. It will reveal the truth.

My coach also asked me what I wish for my spiritual growth in 2018. And here we go. I have a little story to tell to answer that question.

I’m writing the 31st of December 2017. I wake up with a content feeling. The sun is out and it’s already 12 degrees outside, yes really. I jump out of bed (and that day I literally did!), I quickly changed into my running gear and 20 minutes later I was out of the door, direction Isar river in Munich. The second I stepped outside, I was just feeling so happy, so calm, yet excited about life, so grateful, so whohoooo, a feeling difficult to describe. My almost ecstatic feeling even intensified when I started running and moving my body, feeling the sun on my skin and in my face. I couldn’t do anything about it (and I didn’t want to), but I was running around grinning like a Cheshire cat. Even now whilst writing this, I have to laugh.

And whilst I was fully enjoying the run, the sun, the movement, and simply my own company, there was this second of thinking “I want to hold this feeling.” This thought instantly moved me from being in the here and now to longing for something. I tried to hold on to something beautiful and let’s be honest, if there was the possibility sometimes in life to hit the Pause button, we might all happily use that button.

When wishing for the pause button…

Interestingly I find that the topics that I’m engaging with, suddenly appear everywhere in different shapes and forms. One appearance was in a yoga class. The teacher opened the class with exactly that thought.

We try to hold onto things we like and we try to get rid of feelings we dislike. But how about letting go of all likes and dislikes? How about loving what we love in the moment we love it? How about enjoying what is in the moment the enjoyment is present? How about accepting what we dislike in the moment we dislike it? How about accepting suffering (dukha) as part of our lives to be able to fully enjoy the pleasures (sukha)?

…makes you fall out of the here and now.

So, to bridge back to the question, what do I wish for my spiritual growth in 2018?

I want to let go of all likes and dislikes to be in the here and now, at all times.

Yours, Nina