How do you show up?

Today in a call, we talked about the question:

How do I choose to show up?

This question is even more relevant in difficult times, in times of low energy, lack of motivation or when we feel tired and exhausted.
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The question is how we show up in these situations.

Do we find excuses? Do we hide? Do we get lazy? Is perfectionism getting into our way?

OR do we pull ourselves out of that situation and choose to live in expansion and growth?
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We all have tough times, I do, you do, we do.

BUT WE CAN ALWAYS CHOOSE TO NOT HANG IN THERE, BUT CHOOSE TO EXPAND AND GROW INTO OUR VERY BEST SELF.

Love, yours Nina

PS. If you need and desire guidance on how to choose growth always, message me for our complimentary “Get to know you” Call. I look forward to having you. There is only one (!) 1:1 coaching slot available starting in April. So, take action! It wont be around for too long.

How meditation improved my relationships & more.

In all friendships, in all relationships I have, (check previous posts @designyourlifeforresults to learn more) I have understood that these only exist, because there is a true, genuine and deep connection I have with the people I surround myself with.
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This deep connection exists, because I have connected deeply with myself. Over the last 5 years and continuously every single day. One of my favourite tools? Meditation. Everyday, everywhere.
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If you are brave enough to do so, i.e. to look deeper into who you are, what you desire and where you are heading, it makes building & maintaining connections so much easier, worthwhile, fun and loving.
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I honestly cannot be bothered anymore to entertain superficial connections and relationships. It is my lifetime, so now I only surround myself with positive, loving and growing people that have a vision and mission to rise up to.
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This is certainly only ONE RESULT I got out from my daily meditation practice.

Tell me, are you meditating regularly?

If you do, what is your Top 1 result? If not, what keeps you from getting started? In my opinion, there is nothing to lose, only a lot to win.

Love, yours Nina ❣️
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PS: Want to get started on your meditation practice and need guidance? Looking to surround yourself with like-minded souls? I invite you to join my Facebook group ‘DIVE DEEP – Design your life for results’ with weekly activities, currently on Sundays. There was a Facebook Live this evening and I spoke in detail about my experience with meditation,  how I got started, how to set yourself up and which essential oil I use and how for my meditation. It is powerful for you to get you results, so come, like & follow my page: https://www.facebook.com/designyourlifeforresults/ . It is all for free, too.

Bestseller on Amazon

Boom! When you already follow me on social media, then you’ll know that I have made it to Bestseller on Amazon. My eBook ‘Feel Understand Heal #2 – Design your life for results’ has made it to Number 1 in not only one, but three categories, namely ‘Spirituality’, ‘Personal Transformation’ and ‘Sports & Fitness’. I can’t even put into words how happy and proud I am. To really see and feel my happiness and excitement, watch my video on my YouTube channel.

Success

After this huge success I was asking myself “What did it take me to succeed with my eBook?” but also broadly speaking “What does it take for one to succeed?” I reflected, so that I can pass on my experience and learnings to you. I came up with the following drivers of success. It is not the full alphabet, yet I have many letters serving your success.

  • A as Ambition to succeed.
  • B as Belief. The most important thing is to believe in yourself, to truly believe that you can do this. Because you can.
  • C as Courage to do whatever it takes. C as Coach to hold you accountable.
  • D as Discipline. No success without discipline. Discipline is also about your work ethics. It is about consistency, it is about showing up, even if you don’t want to.
  • E as Energy. Bring your body and mind into a state of energy. Move your body, understand your mind and heal your soul to have the energy to succeed.
  • F as Flow. Once you are in the flow, keep going & do not stop until you’ve achieved that result you are looking for.
  • I as Inspiration. Inspire yourself to inspire others.
  • L as Love. Fall in love with yourself first to love others. Give love. Love will come back to you.
  • P as Patience. This is probably my biggest challenge. However, I know that whenever I surpass that point of impatience that BOOM things are rolling. Or when I call up my coach expressing my impatience, because he is going to be the one to push me and make me go further, so I can last longer.
  • R as Results. What do you want to achieve? What result do you want to see? My eBook holds the subtitle ‘Design your life for results’ plus this is what I am doing. Designing my life for the results that I want to see, be it professionally or personally. Be it health or relationship related. Whatever it is, ask yourself, which results you want to achieve and make them measurable, whenever possible.
  • S as Silence. In everything that is going on in our lives, it is necessary to be silent once in a while. To pause. To breathe. To be still. In the silence you’ll find your energy.
  • T as Trust. Trust that things will be working out for you. Trust that the universe has your back and helps you accomplish your dreams. Trust in yourself, in your capabilities and that life is happening for you.
  • W as Will. Without the will to excel, you won’t. Without the will to stand out, you won’t. Without the will to succeed, you won’t.

Thank you again to everyone who supported me in my endeavours, thank you to my coaches for believing in me, motivating me and pushing me to go further. Thank you to my friends, family and supporters who got my eBook. I truly hope that this book serves you to start designing your life for results. I wish you an enjoyable read. I know that I loved writing this book. I love pulling together content for you that serves you, helps you and inspires you to design your life for the results that you want to see.

Yours, Nina

PS: If you want more exercises and mind feed then get my eBook ‘Feel Understand Heal #1 – Reveal your true self’ here. When you are ready to dive deeper into your personal transformation and if you have the will to succeed, then attend my three hour workshop in Munich on Thursday, 13th December at 18.30pm.

 

 

 

 

The defined life

As you know, my articles are always based on my own life and experiences. Lately I’ve been wondering where our urge comes from to define things.

I am in a phase of my life, where I am ‘redefining’ things and so I couldn’t help but notice that most of us have an urge to define things, to fix things, to determine things. We define our lives by defining the world we live in. And I have a feeling we do that in all systems of our life. Be it the job, the living situation, friendships and especially relationships. Everything is defined. But why?

We rate by stating.

We automatically rate our environment based on our perception of the world and whatever we perceive we instantly want to state.

I have to say that based on my personal development and becoming more conscious of my behavioural patterns, I definitely had a tendency, a strong one haha, to define things, too. And it’s okay. However, now, I’m realising stronger than ever just how much I have actually missed out on by defining things in advance and before they even get a chance to develop. Into whatever.

It has all been part of my beautiful learning process. No regrets.

And that is my point. Why do you need to know in advance which direction things are heading to? Why do you need to know today if the job that is okay for now is the job forever? Why do you need to know if the flat or house you live in will be your place of living for the next years? Why do you need to know if the guy you’re dating at the moment is the partner for the rest of your live?

Just think about it: Whenever you are in the process of defining things, you are actually not living in the now. Your thoughts have already wandered ahead of the life you are living now. You are losing touch with being here and now. You are losing touch with this beautiful moment. You are losing touch with enjoying that specific moment or stage in your life, because you are already thinking ahead, you already want to define things.

I have understood that defining things is only a form of control that stems from fear.

Enjoying life is a form of flow that stems from love.

Love for the moment.

All I want to do with this article is to inspire you to let go of definitions, to let go of control so that you, too, can be in flow.

Yours, Nina

Why personal growth?

I’m so happy to have started my journey of personal growth, which I love calling my inner journey.

Yes, it’s hard sometimes to intensively reflect yourself, to tune into your body, to observe your thoughts and emotions, but it’s so worth it and your growth never stops.

It is a process.

The word ‘Personal Growth’ has become a much deeper meaning for me over the last couple of years since I have been diving deeper into my personal growth. In this blog post, I want to share some success stories with you, to inspire you to start walking and to keep going, even if you might think at some point:

What did I get myself into?

My first success relates to my sensory channels and my perception. I knew that my visual sense was already strongly developed, but thanks to my yoga teacher training my kinaesthetic sense unfolded, too. And just to clarify, doing my yoga teacher training was already a beautiful result of my personal growth. With two strongly developed senses and a better perception of myself, I noticed that my auditive channel however was slightly underdeveloped. Which brings me to my success: I’m treating myself and others more consciously, with even more love and respect. I see more, I feel more and after months of sharpening my perception skills, I also hear and listen more. It is so enriching to give my life more depth and meaning by the power of personal growth and better perception skills.

My second success story relates to my linguistic skills. Thanks to my better perception, I have also been able to improve my possibilities and means of expression, both verbally and non-verbally. The beautiful thing is it’s not only me feeling that my communication have become clearer, it is also acknowledged by others. Especially in moments and conversations when I was truly present, with all my senses. This is really the key to everything, to be present in the here and now. For example, if you have a conversation with someone, really focus on that person, avoid distractions, look at the person, listen and gradually feel into the person. I know it is not always easy, but start by bringing your awareness to your perception. Speaking of communication… I am a communicative person, hence it’s also a success for me to see, feel and hear, when it’s better not to say anything and to stay in silence. Who can relate?

Talk is silver, silence is golden.

Train your perception, because this is where communication begins. Always.

When it comes to communication, I also increasingly notice, especially when overhearing conversations in cafés, how many conflicts and misunderstandings simply derive from a different perspective of life. You must know that each person has their own individual perception, hence everyone sees the world differently. Everyone has a different map of reality. Does this make sense?

The map is not the territory. (Alfred Korzybski)

This phrase illustrates the differences between belief and reality. Our perception of the world is generated by our brain. Every perception, every map looks differently.

I understand more than ever that there is no such thing as compartmentalisation. No right or wrong. There are simply different perceptions based on education, values, culture and developed belief systems.

With my personal growth journey, my understanding for the other side of the medal has dramatically improved. I feel more relaxed, probably because I am fighting less for my perception of the world, but instead regard other perceptions as incredibly exciting and inspiring.

Last but not least I record as success what Mahatma Gandhi already said:

You must become the change you wish to see in the world.

I understood that I am responsible for my life, only me. I also realised that we as human beings have the wonderful capability to impact the pathways of our brain in order to overwrite negative and unwanted emotions, behaviours and actions with something positive. We can change our lives from negative to positive. Isn’t that amazing?

Of course, it’s always easier to blame someone else in a difficult situation, but nothing will ever change, if you don’t start with yourself first. My change and personal development clearly shows the positive shifts in my life, by starting with myself. By changing myself and my perception of reality. I extended my map of reality by reflecting myself and my environment. So as a result I notice immediately when I am reacting and acting based on one of my automatisms. Then I can intervene consciously, I say ‘Stop’ and make a new and better choice.

Like Lao Tse said:

Every journey begins with a single step.

I understood that this first step needed to come from me. And so my personal growth journey started.

I want to inspire you to start walking and to keep walking. The process never stops. And it is such a blessing to develop and to grow. Trust me, life holds so much love and joy, once you start walking. What’s holding you back?

Yours, Nina

Drop the judgment

Inspired by my life & Gabby Bernstein

This blog post is not only for you to drop the judgment, it is also for me, it is for everyone.  It’s my reflection of life.

I’m writing this article today, as someone close to me has been judging another person close to me for the last three years. This created a feeling of being torn, of disruption within me. Now, this morning, the said judgment has been dropped. And I instantly felt such a big relief. Tears were shed. I smiled. And my heart filled up with even more love.

Stop the vicious circle

This incident made me realise stronger than ever just how quickly we judge others. And then once we realise we judged someone else, we judge ourselves for having judged. What a vicious circle!

I’m sure we all struggle with judgment every single day. That’s okay. However, let’s make an effort all together to show more love, openness and compassion to the people surrounding us and to ourselves! We won’t be able to change our behaviour within one day, but how about taking the first step?

The first step: Notice & feel

The first step for anything relating to personal development is always to be honest with yourself and to notice any judgment patterns that you may have. Notice, when you judge. Notice, what you judge. Notice, how you judge. Notice, why you judge. Notice the feelings arising. Feel!

The second step: Understand

The second step is to understand the associated feelings with judgment. This goes hand in hand with the reasons for judging. Very often, judging another person or behaviour makes us feel better, at least for that moment. In a way, judgment is a result of comparisons. Since we compare ourselves to others a lot thinking that others might be ‘better’ at something, ‘smarter’ or ‘prettier’, we start the judgment process, mostly to protect ourselves. Instead of accepting that yes, there are other people out there who might be ‘better’ at something, we almost automatically jump into the process of judgment.

‘She never managed this on her own.’ ‘He is only successful because of his parents.’ ‘I’m sure she had surgery.’ 

Sounds familiar? Why can we not accept others for who they are. Why can we not accept and love ourselves just the way we are. Why do not embrace our individuality? Why do we strive for meaningless competitiveness? Why are we so harsh on ourselves?

If, whilst reading this, you reflect on my words…

Stop judging yourself.

Life is not just black and white.

Begin with noticing. Continue with feeling. Go on with understanding.

The third step: Heal

In order to heal judgement, we need to start a transformation from the inside out.

  • Move to love. Accept what is for yourself and others.
  • Move to individuality & authenticity. Accept that everyone is different.
  • Move to your true self. Feel the relief once you’ve returned to your truth.

Be kind to yourself though and be clear that it’s difficult to be judgment free all the time. What counts is how quickly you notice judgment and move through the steps above.

I just know that this practice holds so many ‘goodies’ for us. Less tension, more ease and peace, relief, freedom, more love and compassion and most importantly for me:

Happiness from the inside out.

If you truly want to live a happier life, I invite you to to join my workshop Feel Understand Heal in Munich on Friday, 8th June, 6-9pm. Click here for details.

Let’s do this journey to love, light and happiness together.

Yours, Nina

 

 

Who loves, dances.

What comes to your mind when you hear the word love? Let me guess, probably words like ‘relationship, partner, man, woman’? Isn’t that interesting that the majority of us associates the word love with something extrinsic, something external, something outside of us, something that we give to someone and that we receive by someone else?

Love is intrinsic

Love is something intrinsic to you, to me, to all of us. It’s nothing outside of us, love is inside us. It’s called self-love. Love is simply there, it is what we were born with, with love from the inside out. Isn’t it beautiful? So, the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. If you hear love, and you think about the relationship with yourself, then that’s great. This is what should come to our mind, when we hear the word love. It is a process though, as we’ve been raised thinking we first need to do and to accomplish something before we are fully loved and before we can then love ourselves.

But NO! I want you to know that you are beautiful just the way you are, you are loved, just for being yourself, and it is our natural human potential to love ourselves.

When you fully love yourself, only then can you show true and deep love to someone else. Only then can you experience & receive love fully. So, fill up your love tank. It is already inside you. The good news is that you can grow love inside you and that there aren’t any bad news associated with it.

Grow love inside you

Here is some guidance on how to do that. Please note awareness is key.

  • Live in the present moment as much as possible. Do not overthink the past or the future, but focus on the now.
  • Practice more being, less doing.
  • Watch yourself. Say STOP to negative thoughts, once you notice them and before a whole story arises with it. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts instead.
  • Don’t be too hard on yourself, meaning do not fight your body, mind and spirit. Instead take care of your body, watch your thoughts and feel your present emotions, no matter if it is sadness, anger or jealousy. Do not fight it, accept what is, love what is.
  • Be creative and enjoy the process of creating. Whatever it may be. For me it’s for example creating a yoga class or a workshop. For me being creative also means dancing, following my feelings with my body and to express myself whilst dancing.
  • Live your life according to your true self.
  • Be authentic, be yourself, be happy.

What is your creative passion that only waits to be released?

Over the past years, I have developed a strong sense for myself, for my whole being. I have improved access to my intuition and I’ve sharpened my listening and ‘reading between the lines’ skills. I have more love and understanding for myself than ever. I live in line with my true self as best as I can, every single day. When my love tank is full, I can draw from it at any given moment, for myself and others!

Don’t be too hard on yourself

And yet, I also have days when the above doesn’t really work, when I feel stuck in the past or in the future, when I’m busy doing stuff, when I don’t feel well-aligned, when I feel distracted, sad or angry. But you know what? I do notice and being aware is the most important step for change and creation. Moreover, I’ve learned not to be too hard on myself anymore. It simply doesn’t help, instead it slows down the process even more. So, love yourself! Practice self-love! Be kind to yourself!

Who loves, dances

Oh yes! When you understand that love is within you always, once you’ve filled up your love tank and when you are kind to yourself always, then you will just feel so full of love that your heart will have no other chance but dance!

In my case, I literally mean dancing. I love dancing to express myself. Whilst dancing, I’m in my highest alignment. I’m always dancing, inside out!

When do you start ‘dancing’?

Much love.

Yours, Nina

 

 

 

 

Reconnect

I’ve heard the words ‘Connect’, ‘Disconnected’ and ‘Reconnect’ a lot lately. Maybe this is because so many people feel disconnected from themselves and want to reconnect with their body, mind, and spirit, or I’ve noticed it increasingly since it has become one of my favourite topics. I truly believe that if we lost connection with ourselves that we can get it back, we can build the connection with ourselves again. We can reconnect.

Reconnect on different levels

In my opinion, this needs to happen on different levels, physically, mentally and spiritually. Reconnecting with yourself means first of all to become aware, of your body, mind and soul. Ask yourself what is going on here? Where are my pain points physically? Where is my mind going? What keeps my mind busy? Is your soul telling you something? Do you sometimes feel restless? Why? When do you feel most disconnected with yourself? When do you most feel the urge to connect with yourself?

Notice and sit with it

Become aware, notice and sit with it to start with. You don’t have to take any action right away. I know it’s difficult, but it’s better not to fight it, because that would mean you are fighting life, and that in return would mean that you are fighting yourself.

So, start with bringing more awareness into your being. De-automize your being and your actions, whatever you do, do it less automatically, more consciously. Bring more awareness into your life.

Maybe you wonder now, what this is all about and how this should help you reconnect?

Awareness

I know from experience that bringing more awareness to my being, to my body, mind and soul is the first and only step required to commence the reconnection process.

How do you think you can connect with your beautiful life, if you don’t start connecting with yourself? How can you see, feel, smell and taste all the beautiful things in our world, if you cannot even see or feel yourself? Awareness and appreciation are your entry to reconnect with yourself.  Use your 5 senses consciously to bring more awareness into your life, they’ve been given to us with reason, so use them and enjoy them.

Feel Understand Heal

Once you feel & understand, you can heal. Once you start your individual reconnection process, you can come closer to your true self. Once you start the journey becoming the real you, you’ll feel lighter and happier. Of course, there will be difficult moments, of course, you won’t feel light 24/7, but again I know from my own inner journey how amazingly rewarding it is to start this process. To walk the liberating path of personal development.

A liberating feeling

It is liberating. ‘Cause every day feels lighter, with less bullshit, instead with more awareness and gratitude, especially for the small things in our life. Because I also noticed one more thing, it is not really the big things that make up our lives, it is the small things.

And if we manage to appreciate the small things, if we manage to appreciate ourselves, we can reconnect with ourselves, we can let go of bullshit and instead embrace all the beautiful new things flowing (or flooding!) into our lives.

Become yourself

The closer you get to yourself, the more you become yourself, the lighter you will feel and the happier you will be. Because you are truly you. Isn’t that a wonderful outlook?

You can be happy only if you become yourself

If you feel disconnected, if you sometimes wonder who you are, if you truly want to start your reconnection journey, but don’t know where to start, then I cannot imagine anything more beautiful than supporting you on your journey and taking that first step.

I have been on this journey (still am, it’s an ongoing process) and whilst it was tough at times, I am deeply grateful to have (had) people by my side supporting me.

If you resonate with this blog post, then check out my 3-hour workshop FEEL UNDERSTAND HEAL that I will be holding in Munich on Tuesday, 22nd May. I’m so excited about this journey and it gets better every day (with some exceptions haha).

Love to life, love to you and love to myself.

Yours, Nina

 

 

 

Oh Cambodia!

I’m so grateful!

  • … for travelling.
  • … to have visited Cambodia.
  • … to have stayed in a yoga & meditation temple.
  • … that I found yoga & meditation for my life.
  • … that I meet beautiful people wherever I go.

Meeting new people is such a wonderful experience. When I travelled through Cambodia, I enjoyed this experience every single day. I stayed in a yoga & meditation retreat in Kep for 2 weeks. Check out Vagabond Temple, if you are looking for spiritual inspiration & growth, great yoga classes, guidance in meditation and meeting like-minded people from all over the world.

I also booked an Ayurveda detoxification package with sessions spread over 5 days, so you should be a guest for a minimum of 5 days. The package included 4 wonderful Ayurvedic massages plus a session with the founder of the retreat Kobi. My healer Maayan and me started with feet reflexology and seriously this woman has magical hands. I noticed fairly quickly how tight certain parts in my feet were, ouch!, but it all made sense, since these points related to my lower back and hamstrings and yes, they were tight. This session was incredible. Whilst I thought that Maayan was still massaging my feet, she suddenly stood next to me informing me that the massage was finished. What?! This showed me how deeply relaxed I was. For the afternoon she recommended to just be and relax and to take the afternoon yoga practice slow.

More being, less doing.

This is something so valuable I learned during my time at the retreat center. Not only Maayan mentioned this to me specifically to rest more, but also Pazit held an incredible Dharma talk about the topic More being, less doing. Why? Because most of us are so caught up with daily To Do lists, tasks & self-imposed responsibilities, social media and overall distraction, that we forget to simply be. Without looking at our smart phone. Without doing anything. Just being.

Just sit and be still.

Another aha-moment for me was when I visited Maayan the 2nd time for a full body Ayurvedic massage. She hugged me tightly and from her heart and asked me how I was doing. I replied: “Actually good.” She asked: “Actually?” Me: “Hm, no I’m really good.” This situation showed me that I was relativising my mood, although I felt awesome, freaking great, amazing. And so we started reflecting on this conversation and our impulse to relativise things. I instantly noticed for myself that I get the impression it’s more accepted in society to hold back, to be not that great, to moan. But if you say you are doing really great, then you are kind of weird. Different. Maybe arrogant. So, maybe that’s why we make ourselves worse, because we might also get more attention if we say “I’m okay.” Followed by the next question “Why, what’s going on?” as opposed to no question, when you say you are doing great. Well, at least that is my observation, as the entire blog is, just as a reminder.

We continued with a full body massage and again/still, my hip area was tight. I fully relaxed and even saw bright white and yellow lights. Maayan explained that the tightness probably comes from my will to push forward. Because I’m doing too much and being too little. She assured me that I’m still young and that I still have enough time to get to where I want to be. That it’s important to accept that life throws us back at times or makes us go left and right, but that we can continue our path anyways. Accept what is. Accept the throwbacks, meander and changes in life.

You will continue your path.

This inspiring conversation took me straight to my pink notebook wondering where the urge to do comes from. Am I afraid of dying before having fully lived the life that I always wanted to live? Do I do, because I want to live my dream life as quickly as possible, for as long as possible? Am I scared of regretting not to have done enough?

If you are following my blog since the start then you will know that I had my breakthrough in a Reiki session in Mexico, whilst travelling through Latin America for almost 6 months. And so it happened that Maayan and me included a Reiki session into my package. I would love to share with you my main learnings from this session.

  • Follow up on what you see in your dreams.
  • Follow your path.
  • Take care of yourself. Self-love first.
  • Do not absorb negative energies.
  • Go for it.

Go for it!

The last part of the Ayurveda package was with Kobi. After a few minutes of talking, we found ourselves in a very exciting talk about astrology and my sign (=Gemini). Kobi is an absolute expert in this field, so if you are into it and you visit Cambodia, schedule an appointment with him now. Again, details of this conversation would go beyond the scope of this blog post, but let me share with you my learnings which I’m sure will be so valuable for you, too, as these are independent from your astrological sign.

  • Letting someone read my astrological sign made me understand myself more, it gave me more empathy for me, my behaviours and my decisions.
  • Do not compromise on yourself. You are who you are.
  • Set your boundaries. Write down your red lines in the different areas of life.
  • Appreciate validation from others, but do not seek it.
  • Believe in yourself.

Believe in yourself.

Oh Cambodia! Thank you so much for having me and enriching my life so strongly and positively that I feel freer and more confident than ever before. Thank you to all of you wonderful people who accompanied me on this journey.

Love, love, love.

Yours, Nina

 

 

Reveal your true self

Inspired and based on Patanjalis’ Yogasutra by Ralph Skuban

Reveal your true self by ‘vairagya’

I chose this topic as part of my yoga exams presentation. Whilst dealing with the Yogasutra in more detail, I realised just how much of a code of practice this book is for life. At least for me. This blog post is inspired by the book and Ralph Skuban, however, it only reflects my way of approaching the topic and is written in my own words.

The word ‘vairagya’/letting go is one of the most important words and statements in Patanjalis’ Yogasutra. Whilst it appears more than once, I focus on chapter 1, verses 12-16.

However, my starting point lies in chapter 2, verses 3-4, where it’s said that we humans suffer, because we don’t know, who or what we really are. Also referred to as ‘spiritual blindness’ or ‘avidya’.

If we are now conscious and mindful enough, we will probably seek getting out of this suffering and spiritual blindness with the objective to reach inner freedom. For me, this means being, who we really are.

Start walking as to reveal your true self. 

In the Yogasutra, this is a higher level of ‘vairagya’, it is ‘paravairagya’, a complete detachment of everything.

Where to start

I would recommend to start at the beginning, just like Patanjalis does in chapter 1, verses 1-11. He states to dedicate yourself to yoga, to self-realisation. Yoga is basically a way to heal, it means healing to the grounds of our being, through a process of cleansing.

One way to cleanse is by calming down and quieting our thoughts and mental patterns, which are continuously changing and evolving, making it even more difficult to quiet them. The stillness of our thoughts is referred to as ‘chitta vrittis nirodhah’. And once they become still, we will be at rest, feel peaceful and find inner peace.

How to find inner peace

In chapter 1, verses 12-16, there are some insights on how we can quiet our mind, and the most important finding for me is that we need to understand that we are NOT our thoughts, that we are NOT our emotions and that we are NOT our memories. We mustn’t identify with our thoughts, if we want to quiet our mind and reveal our true self.

Also, it’s beneficial to establish a ‘practice/abyhasa’ like a regular meditation and yoga practice, and most importantly we need to cultivate an inner attitude of letting go.

Vairagya

By practicing ‘abyhasa’ and ‘vairagya’, we will be led into stillness and hence closer and closer to our true self. With the help of letting go (‘vairagya’), we can find our inner light, our true essence again and we will start shining our (moon)light again, that has been hidden and covered with dust for a long enough time. We can begin to walk the way to our true self.

I love the image of a crystal here. We all are a crystal, but over time, our crystal, our true self, may begin to dust based on wrong identifications or at least identifications that we didn’t really question and hence accepted. The good news is we can start blowing off the dust, today, right here, right now. We are free to dissolve beliefs and limitations, that don’t serve as any longer, and we can create and absorb beliefs that well serve us. By dissolving our old beliefs, we approach our true essence of being, slowly, but surely.

We understand that our happiness does not depend on external factors, but only on what’s within us. We will break out of the prison that we built ourselves, we will break up accepted dogmas, we will free ourselves from living the life that others want us to live and will develop back into our true essence.

Yes, this is somehow rebellion, we rebel to get our lives back and to live the life we really want to live. However, that’s good rebellion, if you ask me.

Let go

To summarise, Patanjalis biggest calling is to practice letting go.

  • Accept what you cannot change.
  • Forgive as if it never happened.
  • Do not judge everything.
  • Let go of what is hurting you.

Imagine a full glass of water. Only by letting go and emptying your water glass, you can create space for new, beautiful things that make you lighter, freer and happier.

For me the most beautiful effect of ‘vairagya’ is that I will be able to love and serve even more, as I develop more empathy for others, more strength to support others and I gain clarity for my life.

A matter close to my heart

This is a topic close to my heart due to my personal experience. Through yoga and my travels to Latin America, I became more mindful and conscious about me and my life, hence I started to reflect and question the existing.

Knots were bursting and I started going my way to reveal my true self. I began blowing off the dust of my crystal and gradually saw parts of my true self again, my inner light that I had somehow forgotten. Out of sight, out of mind.

I’m still in the process of dedusting my crystal, but knowing that I’ve already broken open a few chains and limitations, makes me feel so happy and free that I would always walk this way again.

Yours, Nina