More being, less doing

If you are following me on Instagram, then you’ll know that I’ve just returned from a trip through Cambodia and that I spent 2 weeks in a yoga & meditation retreat in Kep, in Vagabond Temple. I will write a separate article about my travels through Cambodia and the yoga retreat, but for now I will focus on one of my biggest learnings in the last few years. Something that was confirmed again during the yoga retreat. Something that will accompany me for life.

More being, less doing.

If I had to rate where I used to be on a being-doing scale, then I’d say 9 doing and 1 being, meaning I was constantly in action, in movement, restless. I felt like I constantly had to be productive, that I had to do something, that I couldn’t just sit there doing nothing.

I questioned myself during the retreat, why that is and thought, probably because it made me feel lazy and being lazy is not accepted in our society. Wherever we go and look, there is doing, action, activity, rush, hurry, pressure, so I’m not too surprised anymore that I wasn’t able to just be, but that instead I was constantly in doing mode, in fear of being unproductive, unsuccessful and lazy. Maybe this is a fear of not being good enough, too? A fear of not being seen? Of not being acknowledged? Of not receiving validation?

If you relate with my words, maybe ask yourself as well, why you do so much and why you are so little.

Now, being on my path of personal development, I have adapted the scale of being and doing. More being, less doing. It’s important to say at this point that doing is not a bad thing, we need to do in order to progress, but it is equally important for us to be, to process, digest and grow. The critical point is, as often in life, to be conscious about our being and doing and to find balance between the two.

Imagine that your head represents doing and your heart is being. When you do, allow your heart and your soul to follow. When you are, invest the energy you gain into doing.

Find silence when needed. Step into action when required. Then rest. Allow yourself to simply be. Listen to your body, it talks to you.

If you acknowledge being and doing of the same value, then you will feel more balanced, at ease and more relaxed, which ultimately leads you closer and closer to your true self.

Yours, Nina

Loving what is

Inspired by the fabulously smart Byron Katie.

Don’t we all know that we are better off when we accept those things in our lives that we cannot change anyways?

Don’t we know that we shouldn’t put any energy into things that we don’t believe in?

Don’t we know that by judging other people we actually judge ourselves?

I guess the answer is ‘YES’ on each of these questions. Yet, we find ourselves in exactly those situations over and over again.

We get angry when a situation or a person winds us up, although IT IS.

We feel exhausted, sad or misunderstood when – often for the sake of others – we invest our time, money and efforts into things that we don’t actually believe in, leaving us frustrated, because we didn’t say no, leaving us feeling guilty when we did, leaving us unsatisfied, because we didn’t invest our time into the things that really matter to us. And yet, IT IS.

We feel hurt, when we are being judged by people. And still, IT IS.

I’ve been wondering: If it is all so clear, then why is it so damn hard to love what is? Why do we spend so much time thinking, moving everything from right to left in our head, analysing, hoping, wishing for a change (in others)?

My answer:

Because it is a process.

And according to Byron Katie: Because you have to do the work first.

Any negative or restricting emotion, be it disappointment, fear, anger or sadness, derives from somewhere within us. Not from somewhere outside of us. This is the 1st step for improvement and for getting closer to loving what it is. Because IT IS.

We won’t stop projecting certain feelings into other people or situations, unless we are aware that this is what we do. We are responsible for our life and hence our emotions, feelings and actions. It’s not the responsibility of anyone else. This is in my opinion the 2nd step towards loving what is. Because IT IS.

We will repeat what we don’t repair. So, we should really look into everything that IS. To start repairing what lies within us, to then dissolve what lies within others. Ask yourself in the entire process:

Is this the truth?

Then you will be ready to start your healing process. And this healing process will lead you to

Loving what is.

Yours, Nina

PS: I’m in the middle of the process and it is worth starting. Send me a pink note, if you want to share your thoughts or comment on the article.