Freedom – Am I free?

Freedom. Happiness. Love.

These 3 words are my key goals, my why, for being on this journey of personal growth. This article is dedicated to the all important word freedom. But what does freedom actually mean? What does it mean for me? Am I free?

I have stumbled upon these questions more than once now. Probably because I’m on this spiritual journey. Probably because I’m questioning existing beliefs, behaviours and limitations. Probably because I’m curious by nature.

I have always been. 

Yes, I’ve always been curious, but looking back now, I feel like there was one kind of curiosity that was accepted in life, and another curiosity that wasn’t. Because it was too questioning. Too rebellious. Too scary. Which means that over time, I’ve reduced the amount of questions asked, I didn’t challenge the existing as much anymore, I basically lost my natural curiosity about life. I lost who I have always been.

However, it would be unfair to say that it is fully our society’s fault, because at the end of the day I accepted the existing, I accepted certain beliefs, I accepted specific behaviours as well as limitations. Most likely though, the acceptance wasn’t a 100% conscious process, but I trusted that the existing was right, good and I guess normal. Because why would you question something that seems to work? The answer is you wouldn’t, until you do, which is when you realised that things don’t actually work. Well, for me at least.

I’ve been at this point several times now, but my breakthrough to dig deeper and to really question the existing happened whilst travelling through Latin America, especially when I was in Mexico. Ever since, I’ve embarked on a journey, on my inner journey.

Destination: Myself. 

I understood over the last years that my inner journey with the destination ‘Myself’ has long been overdue and is absolutely essential to the pursuit of freedom.

Whilst we are of course influenced by society, our parents and upbringing as well as by politics etc., it is still our choice – especially when we grow older – which influences we actually accept or reject within our value system.

We are free to choose.

This means we can choose every moment who we are and who we truly want to be. But we will only experience true freedom, once our mind is truly free, allowing us to be, truly and authentically.

True self against Troublemaker

However, our true self often faces our difficult self. I like to call it ‘Troublemaker’. We are scared, our thoughts limiting and our self is less wild. Love is increasingly replaced by fear. We’ve lost ourselves.

But don’t we remember what our true essence is? What our purpose of existence is?

True essence

Our true essence is to enjoy life, to play like a child on the playground, to explore, to be happy and to love.

I am craving that life again, a life of freedom, of happiness and love. I got an amazing taster of life and my true essence whilst travelling through Latin America and I simply cannot go back. I want to get to the bottom of my true self again. I want to let go of all limiting beliefs, I want to express my feelings, I don’t want to live my life on other people’s terms, so that I’m being liked and accepted, I first and foremost want to like myself.

Because I’ve understood: If I like myself, I can dissolve everything that does not serve me any longer. I can blow off the dust of my very own diamond that is my true and authentic self.

And then I can go and get my freedom back, visualising everything I’ve always dreamt of.

PS: Do you see the yellow reflection on the picture? On the left side, right where the heart is? No more words needed…

Go and follow your heart.

Yours, Nina

 

 

 

 

What do you want?

I had booked a 5 day yoga retreat in Tulum, Mexico, with the intention to become calmer and to move out of my head and into my heart. The retreat took place in the hotel Yoga Shala, which turned to be one of my favourite places to stay in Tulum.

The retreat greatly combined yoga with meditation and coaching input. One day, we spent the entire morning looking at different areas in our life. The task was to dream the best imaginable scenario in each area and to write down a few sentences.

The areas we looked at were:

  • Truth – Communication – Listening
  • Intuition
  • Connection to Higher Power
  • Sexual – Sensual
  • Will – Power – Self Worth
  • Love – Heart

I still have all my (pink) notes from that day. Looking at them now approximately one year later is so powerful. And I notice one thing amongst them all. It’s all about connection. It has been back then and it is still now with an even stronger feeling.

For me, the first point was majorly about having enriching, inspiring and authentic conversations with people where I can be the best listener without any expectations or boundaries. Where I’m truly present in that moment. This is still true for me now. I’m still practicing paying full attention during a conversation though, as sometimes I can still be distracted.

Intuition was all about connecting with my heart and my gut feel, as it will speak the truth, always. This is still true for me now and I’m getting better each and every day, but there are still moments where I overhear my intuition and just go with what I should do instead of what I would like to do.

Connection to higher power was about being my own Goddess and feeling amazing with myself at all times. This is not my truth anymore. I remember that I was lost on that one during the session, as I’m not religious, and I simply didn’t know what I wanted to be connected to. So I guess I just wrote something. However, I do know now. I feel connected to the universe and the more I trust myself, others and the world, the better my life seems to develop.

Sexuality and sensuality was strongly linked to love during the retreat and it is still now. I do believe that the moment you indulge sexually, you indulge emotionally. Because we all want to feel connected, we all want to feel loved.

Will, power and self-worth were all about being heard as much as possible and being able to express my authentic me. This is still true for me now. If I can express myself, I feel great, I am authentic and I love myself.

Love was probably the most relevant area for me. And it is still now. I want to become an endlessly loving person that gives love, but doesn’t expect it back. A person who is able to let go. At the end of the day, we all live for love!

Now, it’s your turn. Make yourself comfortable with a beautiful notebook and a nicely coloured pen (mine are pink of course) and write down a few sentences to each of the areas, without thinking too much, just write down what comes to your mind first. Let your heart lead the process.

Once you have completed this, continue with the following questions:

  • What do I want?
  • Why? Which feeling would I like to feel when I get what I want?
  • What will happen for me, if I create this change in my life?

Your answers will guide you to your purpose of existence. If the answers are strong enough, they will be your key motivation to live the life you really want.

Yours, Nina