Bursting knots

I already sensed last year that I’m on a good way to reveal my true self. To get really close to myself, to the person I really want to be, living the life I really want to live.

Now, this of course didn’t come overnight or by coincidence. No. I’ve dedicated a lot of my time to my personal growth. I’ve started working with a spiritually inspired life coach a year ago, I invested more time in Instagram to connect with like-minded people, to learn from them and to pass on my experiences, too. I started this blog. I went to a workshop from one of the top motivation trainers in Germany, Christian Bischoff. I listened to various podcasts about personal development. I read various books. I practiced yoga to strengthen my body and to quieten my mind. I started meditating on a regular basis. I started journalling in my pink notebook more actively again. I implemented a daily gratitude practice. I went to networking events. I arranged meetings with interesting and fascinating people outside of these networking events.

In summary, my personal growth, self-love and creating my vision has been key to me and still is.

Just because I’m writing the above in past tense, does not mean that any of these activities are completed though. No, the contrary is true and I tell you why.

On my way to where I’m now – a much happier, lighter, more positive, more saying yes to life Nina – I’ve been facing quite a few obstacles. Emotional breakdowns, tears, fights (with myself and others), ‘lost’ relationships, frustration, procrastination, sadness, fears, to only name a few. It is not the easiest of all ways to really dig deeper into personal development and spiritual growth. It’s not easy to reflect yourself so intensively, to question existing relationships, to question existing behaviours, to ask yourself what it is you really want, what it is you really need and especially what it is you really want from life and I mean from the bottom of your heart.

What do you really want from life from the bottom of your heart?

The process described above requires you to look at your life first, to be ready to change, to tidy up, to break habits in order to set yourself free, for the life that you want!

I can’t mark the day when my development exactly started, but for me, it’s probably the day when I had my breakthrough in Mexico. And this breakthrough was a feeling. That I want to change something in my life. That I want way more from life than what I had up until then. That I have so much more potential to live the life of my dreams. It was simply a feeling that my story is only just starting. If you are at a similar point in your life, and you are wondering about the feelings you are feeling, I can only tell you to feel them, to let them be there, not to judge them and to just go with the flow.

Flow for me means to follow my heart, to increasingly switch off my head, my mind, my thoughts, which usually want to keep us in our comfort zone, away from risks, away from any potential trouble. Our heart on the contrary leads us the way outside of our comfort zone. But this means risks, unknown circumstances, something new.

Stepping outside of our comfort zone, however, is where the growth is.

You need to be brave enough to step out of your comfort zone and you will only do that, when the pain around the current situation is too big to just hang in there. From my experience, especially in the last 2 years, I can only recommend you to keep going, to believe in what you stand for and to just run with it.

It will be all worth it, trust me! Here’s why I’m so convinced about this. Because now, all the seeds that I have been sowing in the last years, are starting to come into fruition. All the time and effort I’ve invested into my personal development and my projects, are now starting to pay off. Knots are bursting. This year 2018 is my year. I just know it and I already felt it coming on 31st December 2017, when I felt so content and happy that I wanted to hug the entire world.

Knots are bursting.

When my knots started bursting from the inside out, like limiting beliefs, restrictions I’ve imposed on myself and a lack of self-confidence in certain areas of my life, eventually things started happening for me. Things shifted. Opportunities arose out of ‘nowhere’, but these opportunities did not come from nowhere. They came from me, my efforts, and my sowing. They were the universe’s way to say Thank You for my consistent sowing.

Keep sowing consistently.

Of course, I had fall outs too, where I lacked motivation, where I was tired, where I couldn’t get out of bed, where I forgot why I’m actually doing this, when I thought why on earth am I on this way, why is this so hard, why do I do this. And yet again: I would always do it again.

Why? To set free. To live my dream life on the highest energy level imaginable, spreading love and positivity into this world.

Here’s to love.

Yours, Nina

 

 

Travel love

When I was younger, I always wanted to be a travel writer, I’ve always dreamed of travelling to as many destinations as possible and of sharing my experiences with others (funnily enough, these words stem from my diary written on 10th January 2015 on the plane from Mauritius back to London). Read more about the beginnings of my blog here.

I am passionate about traveling, exploring the entire world with all my senses and seeing new things. I love progressing, not standing still. So, I’ve always kept an open mind and curiosity about people, languages, cultures, basically about life. Read more on Nina Who.

In 2016, I finally did what I have been wanting to do for years. I travelled through Latin America for almost 6 months. From Cuba to Costa Rica, from Colombia to Argentina, and then back to Mexico. It was intense, amazing and absolutely inspiring. I’ve grown so much ever since and I made a huge step towards my true, beautiful me, my vision and my why in this world.

If you want to know about my (inner) journey, then don’t miss my blog posts.

Yours, Nina

 

 

 

 

Yoga love

Why I love yoga? Because it challenges my body like I’m challenged in life. The beautiful thing is I decide how to react to each and every challenge that life throws at me. With noticing, doing my best & finding ease in the asanas, which reflect life situations or with giving up, not pushing through and telling myself I can’t do this.

Surely, you can guess how I decided! Self-love always.

I started practicing yoga in 2015. I was stressed at work and I had to deal with a broken heart, coming out of a 10-year relationship. I’ve always been in love with dancing and went to my jazz dance classes at Pineapple Dance Studios in London 3 times a week. At some point, however, dealing with my emotional pain and rising stress levels at work, it all just became too overwhelming that I felt the urgent need to calm down, to find peace, something that would re-align me with myself to bring back the energy I’ve always had. And I instantly thought of yoga, of a yoga retreat somewhere in the sun. I told my best friend about my idea and that same day, we browsed the internet for yoga retreats on the Canary Islands. One week later, we had our places in Gran Canaria booked. One week of Hatha yoga, Yin yoga, meditation & breathing exercises, healthy, vegetarian meals and a beautiful double room with our own balcony.

Right in the first yoga class, I realized just how much I was switched on (but not in a positive way). I couldn’t sit still, my breath was flat, my shoulders tight. I simply couldn’t let go and fully relax. Well, I thought, I need more time to get into it; on the other hand I was honestly shocked about just how agitated I was.

After a few days, I already felt calmer and more peaceful from within. I was able to sit in one position for longer, my breath was deeper and my body had begun to relax. And this feeling, exactly this feeling, is what hooked me. I wanted to feel this feeling as often and intensively as possible.

This is when my yoga journey started – in November 2015. It has continued ever since and I will start my yoga teacher training in November 2017 – two beautifully enriching years later.

If you want to be part of my yoga journey, then don’t miss my blog posts.

Yours, Nina

My breakthrough

My breakthrough is what I call the beginning of the journey to myself.

I look at pictures taken in Cozumel, Mexico, and I see pure happiness, in my eyes, in my smile, in the glow in my face.

This happened when I finally allowed me to go on an inner journey to myself. Allowing me to explore who I am, reflecting whether I’m happy with who I am, finding out what I stand for, what my values are. It’s difficult to describe the feeling of this permission, but I felt relieved. I felt light. It felt like the wings that were glued to my body (probably by myself?) for many years were finally starting to open, because I permitted me to open them. Slowly, but surely.

I realised that I’ve always had big wings, but that I had neglected or forgotten them for a very long time. So, when I could feel my wings again, I was able to open them, to use them and to finally start creating a life that should feel as free as a bird.

Which brings me back to my answer (always!) upon the question:

If you were an animal, what would you like to be?

My breakthrough was not one single moment, it was a process. However, I recognised that specific moment of happiness in Cozumel as my breakthrough moment. And I will never ever forget it.

If you are at a turning point in your life, please trust yourself and life. Trust that things will happen for you at the right time and remember that life is always working for you, not against you.

Yours, Nina

 

 

My inner journey

If you are curious to find out how I got to my breakthrough then you will like this article.

I remember the day approximately one month after the break up. I had reached a very low point, when I arrived at the airport in Buenos Aires, destination Cancún. There was a massive queue at the check-in desks, people were complaining about the wait and when it was finally my turn for check-in, the guy at the desk told me that he couldn’t check me in to Mexico, unless I could prove flying out from Mexico again. And yes, I had a return flight back to London, however, I hadn’t printed it out. So, I started looking up the ticket on my iPhone to realise the Wifi wasn’t working and I didn’t have any more data left. I got very nervous, since the flight was due to leave one hour later and I hadn’t even passed security yet. I started sweating, I was really hot, nothing worked. With the best intentions to remain calm, I could finally convince a shop to log me onto their internet connection and there it was, my booking confirmation, to prove that I would be leaving Mexico on 9th of November. I rushed back to the check-in desk. The guy told me that I didn’t have to queue again, so I went straight up to him. When I was just about to show him my flight ticket, someone pinched my shoulder from behind and shouted at me that I should go at the end of the line.

After everything that happened, this was simply too much, but I managed to reply that I wasn’t jumping queues, but that I had been asked to come forward and that he should please understand. He didn’t, but at least I was able to rush to security. Yes, I was working hard on my resilience in that situation.

5 minutes later, the crazy guy also appeared in the security queue and complained about my behaviour again. At the same time, I was on Whats App with a close friend to message about the break-up, my feelings and next steps.

And there it was, my breakdown. Too long had I kept my tears from falling, too long had I kept my emotions to come out, that I simply couldn’t control them anymore. I cried and cried, I had trouble breathing, I had to sit down in the middle of the queue. I felt out of control. My life felt out of control. Until I boarded the plane, sat down in my seat and closed my eyes. I suddenly felt relieved and light. Because I had finally given myself permission to feel my pain, sadness and anger.

And when the plane took off, I literally felt like taking off to a new life. And life proved me right. Life had better plans for me.

The message from my heart to yours:

Trust yourself and life.

Yours, Nina

 

Reason why

You might wonder why I started this blog.

I first had the idea to write a blog on 30th December 2014 after my 10-year relationship ended. I instantly knew that I needed a holiday. It needed to be a destination far away, a country I have not been to before, and I needed to do this on my own.

I decided to travel to beautiful Mauritius, setting off to new shores. Two days into this friendly and peaceful environment, I thought, sitting by the beach, that this is the perfect opportunity to start writing. About how, for the first time, I travelled completely on my own, to capture all amazing moments in pictures & words and to heal, day by day, week by week.

Fast-forwarding to my return to London 2 weeks later, I realised that everything I wrote into my notebook felt way too personal and intimate, that I wasn’t ready to share this yet.

Turns out the reason was I indeed wasn’t ready. Life held bigger plans for me. As you might know, we always get exactly what we can handle, not less, not more. Very obviously I was able to handle way more.

In June 2015 I got together with my new boyfriend. Yes, it was a rather short single break, but sometimes things simply happen and I just felt in flow.

It has been my dream to travel through Latin America since age 17 and when we both quit our jobs, I knew I had to finally make my dream come true. So, we decided to go on this adventure together, 4 months of travelling, from 5th June until 25th September 2016.

Jumping to end of August 2016, our relationship ended between Peru and Bolivia. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. But I was shocked. Another break up in such a short period of time? In South America? Really? In my head, I already titled this experience, which felt like the stupidest movie ever “Nina left in the middle of nowhere”.

Despite all confusion and heartache at the time, I heard my heart talking to me very clearly. It said that I should keep following my dream, that I should continue my travels, that I shouldn’t give up and that life holds so much more for me.

Fast-forwarding to Santiago de Chile in September 2016. I sat in my apartment planning the next stops in Argentina, when it suddenly hit me that my return flight was only 2 weeks away. I felt nervous, yet calm at the same time, a feeling hard to describe. And yet again, I knew the answer. The answer was already within me. My heart told me to extend my journey, to give myself more time to digest, to continue my healing process and to figure out the next step (moving back to London which had been my home for 4.5 years or back to Munich, my hometown).

So, I re-arranged my flights to give myself more time in Chile and Argentina plus I built in another month in Mexico. Fast forwarding to the end of October in Tulum I was fully relaxed, peaceful and in a very happy place, when I suddenly pictured Munich. And I knew this is it, this is my next step. Tulum has become my magical place. It forms the origin of my spiritual journey, of self-love and personal development and hence deserves the first entry on my blog.

In this very moment, I also knew that I wanted to share my experience of travellingyoga and how I started my healing process with as many people as possible. So here I am.

You are my reason why.

Read more about me here.

Yours, Nina