Life is a mental challenge

If you follow me on social media, you will know that I spent a week in Fort Myers, Florida, to be coached by JT FOXX, the world’s #1 wealth coach. The programme that I’m currently doing is called Top 1% coaching, which includes a 3-day coaching training at one of JT Foxx’s houses and I chose to go to Florida. The house was all about creating an experience for all participants and working on a strategic level. I will also have a 4-day coaching training in Munich at the end of November, where the focus will be more on the implementation and execution of the strategic aspects discussed in Florida.

But first things first: I arrived a couple of days before the training started and spent one day in Naples, about an hour’s ride away from my hotel in Fort Myers. I absolutely loved the vibe of that town, everything was pretty, I loved the wide streets surrounded by palm trees and the way towards the beach was getting more and more beautiful. If it hasn’t become clear by now, let me tell you just how much I love the beach & the ocean. I’m sure in my previous life I lived by the beach, because otherwise I really cannot explain myself this strong sense of coming home.

My breath slows down, time stands still and I’m filled up with a flood of happiness.

The next day I went down to reception wearing my wristbands and instantly of course another woman recognised them which meant we got talking right away. Nice start! We – a group of approx. 40 people – were picked up at the hotel and taken to JT’s house. Conversations in the lobby were already on a high and they continued up until the coaching started at JT’s house at 9am.

Life is a mental challenge.

My biggest takeaway was that life is a mental challenge. I hold the power to train my mind to be a successful mind. And so do you. If you want to live a successful life and be happy from within, you better have the right mindset. In JT’s coaching the most important points repeatedly popped up, which I’m going to share with you here for your personal growth.

• No excuses. The less excuses you make, the more success you will have. If you come up wth excuses, question them. Ask yourself, why you bring this up, are you scared of that next step? What exactly are you scared of? Or is this actually not important enough and that’s why you are not getting it done? At the end of the day, you will get it done, if you really want to do it. You will find a way to make it happen. If not, don’t bother and don’t spend time on it. I can so relate to that. I regularly find myself making excuses, but most importantly I notice it and I act on it, one way or another.
• Trust, but verify. I’d like to say, trust and verify. No matter if in private or in business, ensure that you trust the people around you and that you verify the information you get from others. As I explain in another blog post, everyone sees the world through their lens, hence the perception of realities differ and consequently, so do information that are being passed on to you. So, in addition to trusting the person providing you with info, why not checking and verifying for yourself? Knowing that everyone applies their own filter. Just think numbers, gossip, recommendations, etc.
• Be positive. That’s one of my favourites. When comparing my today’s self to my younger self, then I can proudly say that I’ve made a massive shift towards positivity. Whilst in the past I might have been caught up in some (mental) drama, I now avoid the drama and focus on positivity instead. I also noticed it’s because I don’t have time for drama anymore, I don’t have time for bullshitting anymore and I also noticed it is a waste of time. Dear readers, if you do resonate with this paragraph, I ask you to watch yourself. You have to understand that living a positive life is your decision just like happiness is. So, ask yourself and answer honestly: Who am I? Who do I want to become? What are my values in each area of my life?

Happiness by choice.

If you’ve been following my work regularly, then you’ll know that I truly believe that happiness is a choice. I can choose happiness every day. I did it, I do it and I am doing it.

What do you choose?

Yours, Nina

PS: There are only 2 spots left in my upcoming 3 hours workshop Feel Understand Heal #2 in Munich, on 19th September at 6.30pm. Details, booking & payment here.

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Let go

Letting go has been a game changer for me. Letting go of everything negative in my life that is no longer serving me. And at the same time, taking in all the positives that my life has to offer.

We all experience small and big moments in our lives, where we want to control a situation, where we cling to something beautiful in our life, we get annoyed about a person’s behaviour, we feel unfairly treated, we don’t feel recognised sufficiently etc.

It is important to know that it is a ‘normal’ reaction and behaviour to switch into survival and defence mode (e.g. by protection mechanisms like aggression, adaption, anger, control). However, ask yourself honestly whether you feel good with your reaction and behaviour in that specific situation and also afterwards, when regret often sneaks in.

Rewinding to 3 years ago, I was definitely a person who was trying to control situations, or at least let’s say I was struggling to accept certain situations as they were. I wasn’t really aware of my behaviour to be honest, otherwise I would have changed that earlier to make my life much easier. I am wiser now. And this is exactly the reason why I’m sharing my experiences with you, as I’m sure you will benefit positively. The first step to change our reactions and behaviours is always to make us aware of them. Move your behaviours from the unconscious to the conscious and you’ll experience a whole new you. As only then, you will recognise your behaviours, you will be able to observe them from a different perspective, you will be able to change your behaviours and finally, you can become a whole new you!

I’d like to give you a few simple examples that probably most of us can resonate with.

• I am on my bike and a car just pulls out from the right.
• I am in a crowded tube and the person next to me pushes his elbow into my stomach.
• I am in a supermarket queue and I am in a rush, but the people in front of me take like forever to pay and complete their shopping.
• My colleague is delegating tasks to me, although he/she is not superior to me.
• At work, my manager perceives an email differently to how I meant it.
• I feel like I’m doing more for the relationship than my partner does.
• My partner didn’t do something the way I wanted him to do it.

I could keep going, but I guess you have already found a few examples that are relevant to you.

Now, there are always 2 sides of a medal and hence 2 ways of reacting upon the above situations.

Let’s take the first simple example with the car. Three years ago (and all the years before), my reaction would have been very impulsive, a bit aggressive, I probably would have shouted at the driver telling him off for not seeing me, that he should do his license again, whether he won his driver’s license, etc.

Now, being calmer, I know that this doesn’t help at all. It doesn’t help the other person to become a better driver, especially if I’m shouting at him/her. But most importantly it doesn’t help me, it doesn’t serve me.

I had to understand that the above mentioned situations instantly cause negative vibes, and that my whole body is tensing up. I had to understand that I cannot change this person’s behaviour. I had to understand that we are all just human beings and that it is normal to make mistakes, like in my example not looking properly left and right before pulling out of the street. I had to understand that in most situations it is better, wiser and healthier to just let it go.

To be clear, that doesn’t mean that we should like incapable car drivers, but we can decide how to react in that situation. We can freak out, we can shout, we can run away, we can become aggressive or we can work on our resilience, the capability to react flexibly and stable in a difficult situation that drives us up the wall. Resilience allows us to feel competent and safe when dealing with difficult problems and obstacles that life throws at us. And we all know, life does that regularly.

Another point to remember is that whatever bad behaviour you are faced with, in 99% of all cases it is not intended, it is not a purposefully evil behaviour. We often believe that though and we wonder how other people can be so mean, why they say certain things, why they act the way they act. Well, they just do so based on their beliefs, values and education.

To make our lives easier, it is way more beautiful to believe in the good in every person. If somebody treats me badly, I often think to myself now, well that person must have had a tough day. And I put on an even bigger smile. I let it go.

Breathe in positivity. Breathe out negativity.

Yours, Nina