Does this headline sound contradicting to you for a blog that is predominantly about personal growth? Definitely read on.
Over the past 4 years, I’ve been diving deeper into myself, also referred to as personal development. I reflected not only on myself, my fears and my limitations, but also on how this showed in my relationships, with friends, family and partners.
On this journey – which is an ongoing process – I have learned a lot about myself. I was able to dissolve certain behavioural patterns that were limiting me due to underlying fears. I tuned deeper into my body to let go of tensions that have been building up and manifesting in my body for way too long. I work with coaches both personally and professionally to become the best version of myself. I completed an NLP training to improve my communication skills, to dive deeper into self-reflection and to change patterns that didn’t serve me any more with the clear objective to build a life that I really want to live.
So far so good. I believe that this ongoing journey of self-reflection and self-development is awesome. I really wouldn’t change a thing looking back. It all served its purpose; every single change, every heartbreak, every challenge that I encountered in my life so far, were signs of the universe to correct my course; by looking deeper, by understanding and by initiating change.
What I am also observing whilst being on this journey is that I’ve become way more sensitive with all my senses. I hear more, I see more, I feel more. I’d even say I smell and taste more thanks to my work with dōTERRA essential oils.
To really break this down for you, I hear people talking, the bells of the church, sirens, cars, children, water flowing, my steps on the ground, my diffuser running. I hear podcasts, audios and music. I hear myself talking. I could keep going.
I see more. My vision has expanded. I perceive more people in the tube and also what they do. I see the trees moving in the wind, children playing in the streets, people drinking coffee, I see people looking at other people, I observe couples walking hand in hand, I see the sun, the moon and the sky being in movement.
I feel more. I’ve become way more kinaesthetic, I’ve improved my awareness of the position and movement of the parts of my body. I can feel tension way quicker and I do know how to release it faster. I perceive (more) vibes from other people, their feelings, their energies, their current state of being. Again, I could keep going.
More input – more output?
My point is that this increased awareness also means that I sometimes must limit the input, as otherwise it becomes too overwhelming. At a certain point in a certain phase, more input simply doesn’t mean more output. It is essential at this point to limit the input and to focus on processing and digesting all of it. I am only human, as are you, so I figured it’s okay to limit my input.
By closing my eyes just like on the pic. By spending more time by myself. I have noticed that I need more me-time and less together-time when in a phase of limiting input. This means that I would have lunch breaks on my own instead of going with others. I’m not going out a lot at the moment and unfortunately I haven’t been dancing a lot lately. Yes, it is a process of withdrawing myself, and whilst I’ve had phases where I didn’t even understand why I was doing it, I am now fully embracing my need of being alone. Depending on the current life and business set up, the people surrounding me do not always understand my behaviour and my withdrawal, which in return isn’t always easy for me to accept. Yet, I’m learning and growing through this process and I accept that this is part of my personal journey, too and that I do not have to or want to justify for that. It is what I need.
And it’s okay!
I’ve for sure learned that it is okay for me to withdraw myself, if it all gets too much. I’m understanding that my increased awareness and self-reflection led me to being a more sensitive human being called Nina. Whilst in the past I was 90% outgoing, social and extroverted, I am now in need of downtime and quiet time, too. These two facets allow me a better balance in life, more time to process and digest situations, and very importantly, more self-love. I’m freeing myself as much as possible from the opinion of others when it comes to my health and my wellbeing. No, it’s not always easy, but you gotta do what is right, not what’s easy.
Go with what you need!
When I feel the need to socialise, I will. When I feel the need to be alone, I will. When I feel the need to be active, I will. When I feel the need not to talk about certain topics, I won’t. When I feel the need to set boundaries, I will. When I feel the need to speak up, I will. And no, this is never against someone or something, it just means I follow up on what I need and follow through with it.
You can do this, too. Limit your input when you feel like it and don’t feel bad for it.