Yay or nay?

We all know this feeling of being torn between one or the other option. We can’t decide. Maybe we don’t want to decide. Often we fear the consequences of our decisions.

Do you know this feeling, too? You sure do… And don’t worry, it’s okay, it’s human.

However, I wouldn’t write this article if I didn’t have some inspirational thoughts for you on how to approach the decision-making process and how to go from a blurry Yay and Nay to a clear Yes and No.

Build awareness

The most important thing for you to understand is – like always when it comes to personal growth – that you bring awareness to yourself, so that you notice when you struggle taking a decision.

Every single person on this beautiful planet has the opportunity and power to influence what’s happening and not happening in their lives.

You are holding the wheel.

Whilst of course you cannot and shouldn’t control everything in your life, isn’t it great to know that you hold the power to influence your reaction in certain situations and that you have the power to take action accordingly? Now taking action requires making a decision. And making a decision requires courage.

Create your life

Tell me, isn’t it great to know that you are the creator of your life? Isn’t it a good feeling to know that you can influence how your life is going? Isn’t it great that you hold the power to change your life to the life you truly want to live by taking decisions?

^Doesn’t that knowledge make the act of taking a decision attractive to you? Isn’t this such a relief?

Decide now

Think about it, if there’s anything that you are not happy with in your life at the moment, be it your relationship, a friendship, your health or something career related, then you must take a decision on how to change this immediately. Do not postpone it, act now!

The more decisions you’ll take the better you get in it. It’s the same with exercising. For example, the more you practice yoga, the more you’ll improve, as your muscles become stronger and your mind calmer. It’s exactly the same with your “decision muscle”.

Train your decision muscle.

If you are continuously training your decision muscle, you’ll notice how much easier it becomes to take decisions, how much quicker you’ll reach a decision and how much time you’ll save by not going back and forth, but instead to clearly say YES or NO to situations and opportunities in life.

Stand by your decision

Most importantly though when it comes to taking decisions is to stick to your decision, once it’s been made and to know that there’s no such thing as a wrong decision. There is nothing like failure. There is either results or learning. Once you really truly believe that every decision you take holds a massive opportunity for your learning and your growth, you’ll not agonise about the “What ifs”.

If you want to be truly successful in all areas of your life (and I don’t refer to your career only), you have to take decisions quickly and you have to trust that no matter what happens there is only results or learning.

Live your life

Never forget that you hold the power to live the life you truly want to live. Go get it. Be aware. Self-inquire. Reflect. Ask yourself ‘Who am I?’ and then start walking your way to pure happiness from the inside out.

Yours, Nina

 

 

The defined life

As you know, my articles are always based on my own life and experiences. Lately I’ve been wondering where our urge comes from to define things.

I am in a phase of my life, where I am ‘redefining’ things and so I couldn’t help but notice that most of us have an urge to define things, to fix things, to determine things. We define our lives by defining the world we live in. And I have a feeling we do that in all systems of our life. Be it the job, the living situation, friendships and especially relationships. Everything is defined. But why?

We rate by stating.

We automatically rate our environment based on our perception of the world and whatever we perceive we instantly want to state.

I have to say that based on my personal development and becoming more conscious of my behavioural patterns, I definitely had a tendency, a strong one haha, to define things, too. And it’s okay. However, now, I’m realising stronger than ever just how much I have actually missed out on by defining things in advance and before they even get a chance to develop. Into whatever.

It has all been part of my beautiful learning process. No regrets.

And that is my point. Why do you need to know in advance which direction things are heading to? Why do you need to know today if the job that is okay for now is the job forever? Why do you need to know if the flat or house you live in will be your place of living for the next years? Why do you need to know if the guy you’re dating at the moment is the partner for the rest of your live?

Just think about it: Whenever you are in the process of defining things, you are actually not living in the now. Your thoughts have already wandered ahead of the life you are living now. You are losing touch with being here and now. You are losing touch with this beautiful moment. You are losing touch with enjoying that specific moment or stage in your life, because you are already thinking ahead, you already want to define things.

I have understood that defining things is only a form of control that stems from fear.

Enjoying life is a form of flow that stems from love.

Love for the moment.

All I want to do with this article is to inspire you to let go of definitions, to let go of control so that you, too, can be in flow.

Yours, Nina

Oh Cambodia!

I’m so grateful!

• … for travelling.
• … to have visited Cambodia.
• … to have stayed in a yoga & meditation temple.
• … that I found yoga & meditation for my life.
• … that I meet beautiful people wherever I go.

Meeting new people is such a wonderful experience. When I travelled through Cambodia, I enjoyed this experience every single day. I stayed in a yoga & meditation retreat in Kep for 2 weeks. Check out Vagabond Temple, if you are looking for spiritual inspiration & growth, great yoga classes, guidance in meditation and meeting like-minded people from all over the world.

I also booked an Ayurveda detoxification package with sessions spread over 5 days, so you should be a guest for a minimum of 5 days. The package included 4 wonderful Ayurvedic massages plus a session with the founder of the retreat Kobi. My healer Maayan and me started with feet reflexology and seriously this woman has magical hands. I noticed fairly quickly how tight certain parts in my feet were, ouch!, but it all made sense, since these points related to my lower back and hamstrings and yes, they were tight. This session was incredible. Whilst I thought that Maayan was still massaging my feet, she suddenly stood next to me informing me that the massage was finished. What?! This showed me how deeply relaxed I was. For the afternoon she recommended to just be and relax and to take the afternoon yoga practice slow.

More being, less doing.

This is something so valuable I learned during my time at the retreat center. Not only Maayan mentioned this to me specifically to rest more, but also Pazit held an incredible Dharma talk about the topic “More being, less doing“. Why? Because most of us are so caught up with daily To Do lists, tasks & self-imposed responsibilities, social media and overall distraction, that we forget to simply be. Without looking at our smart phone. Without doing anything. Just being.

Just sit and be still.

Another aha-moment for me was when I visited Maayan the 2nd time for a full body Ayurvedic massage. She hugged me tightly and from her heart and asked me how I was doing. I replied: “Actually good.” She asked: “Actually?” Me: “Hm, no I’m really good.” This situation showed me that I was relativising my mood, although I felt awesome, freaking great, amazing. And so we started reflecting on this conversation and our impulse to relativise things. I instantly noticed for myself that I get the impression it’s more accepted in society to hold back, to be not that great, to moan. But if you say you are doing really great, then you are kind of weird. Different. Maybe arrogant. So, maybe that’s why we make ourselves worse, because we might also get more attention if we say “I’m okay.” Followed by the next question “Why, what’s going on?” as opposed to no question, when you say you are doing great. Well, at least that is my observation, as the entire blog is, just as a reminder.

We continued with a full body massage and again/still, my hip area was tight. I fully relaxed and even saw bright white and yellow lights. Maayan explained that the tightness probably comes from my will to push forward. Because I’m doing too much and being too little. She assured me that I’m still young and that I still have enough time to get to where I want to be. That it’s important to accept that life throws us back at times or makes us go left and right, but that we can continue our path anyways. Accept what is. Accept the throwbacks, meander and changes in life.

You will continue your path.

This inspiring conversation took me straight to my pink notebook wondering where the urge to do comes from. Am I afraid of dying before having fully lived the life that I always wanted to live? Do I do, because I want to live my dream life as quickly as possible, for as long as possible? Am I scared of regretting not to have done enough?

If you are following my blog since the start then you will know that I had my breakthrough in a Reiki session in Mexico, whilst travelling through Latin America for almost 6 months. And so it happened that Maayan and me included a Reiki session into my package. I would love to share with you my main learnings from this session.

• Follow up on what you see in your dreams.
• Follow your path.
• Take care of yourself. Self-love first.
• Do not absorb negative energies.
• Go for it.

Go for it!

The last part of the Ayurveda package was with Kobi. After a few minutes of talking, we found ourselves in a very exciting talk about astrology and my sign (=Gemini). Kobi is an absolute expert in this field, so if you are into it and you visit Cambodia, schedule an appointment with him now. Again, details of this conversation would go beyond the scope of this blog post, but let me share with you my learnings which I’m sure will be so valuable for you, too, as these are independent from your astrological sign.

• Letting someone read my astrological sign made me understand myself more, it gave me more empathy for me, my behaviours and my decisions.
• Do not compromise on yourself. You are who you are.
• Set your boundaries. Write down your red lines in the different areas of life.
• Appreciate validation from others, but do not seek it.
• Believe in yourself.

Believe in yourself.

Oh Cambodia! Thank you so much for having me and enriching my life so strongly and positively that I feel freer and more confident than ever before. Thank you to all of you wonderful people who accompanied me on this journey.

Love, love, love.

Yours, Nina

 

 

More being, less doing

If you are following me on Instagram, then you’ll know that I’ve just returned from a trip through Cambodia and that I spent 2 weeks in a yoga & meditation retreat in Kep, in Vagabond Temple. I will write a separate article about my travels through Cambodia and the yoga retreat, but for now I will focus on one of my biggest learnings in the last few years. Something that was confirmed again during the yoga retreat. Something that will accompany me for life.

More being, less doing.

If I had to rate where I used to be on a being-doing scale, then I’d say 9 doing and 1 being, meaning I was constantly in action, in movement, restless. I felt like I constantly had to be productive, that I had to do something, that I couldn’t just sit there doing nothing.

I questioned myself during the retreat, why that is and thought, probably because it made me feel lazy and being lazy is not accepted in our society. Wherever we go and look, there is doing, action, activity, rush, hurry, pressure, so I’m not too surprised anymore that I wasn’t able to just be, but that instead I was constantly in doing mode, in fear of being unproductive, unsuccessful and lazy. Maybe this is a fear of not being good enough, too? A fear of not being seen? Of not being acknowledged? Of not receiving validation?

If you relate with my words, maybe ask yourself as well, why you do so much and why you are so little.

Now, being on my path of personal development, I have adapted the scale of being and doing. More being, less doing. It’s important to say at this point that doing is not a bad thing, we need to do in order to progress, but it is equally important for us to be, to process, digest and grow. The critical point is, as often in life, to be conscious about our being and doing and to find balance between the two.

Imagine that your head represents doing and your heart is being. When you do, allow your heart and your soul to follow. When you are, invest the energy you gain into doing.

Find silence when needed. Step into action when required. Then rest. Allow yourself to simply be. Listen to your body, it talks to you.

If you acknowledge being and doing of the same value, then you will feel more balanced, at ease and more relaxed, which ultimately leads you closer and closer to your true self.

Yours, Nina

About openness

Openness, a topic very close to my heart.

• Do you know what to expect in any given new situation? No.
• Would you like to know what to expect in any given new situation? Probably yes.
• Would you feel safer? Probably yes.
• Is it realistic to know what to expect? No.

What do we normally do, when we are confronted with a new situation? I’d say we usually imagine the situation ahead of us. We imagine the possibilities associated with it, but most likely we fear the associated risks even stronger. It’s a mixed feeling of looking forward to something new, whilst at the same time, we are afraid of the uncertainty, we feel helpless and insecure, we feel like we don’t have the right skills or knowledge to be confronted with that situation, let alone to succeed. We are simply worried, to fail.

However, I’m sure there is always a way through that fear. The first step to take is to move that fear from the unconscious to the conscious. If you are oblivious of your fear or if you suppress it, you won’t experience the much needed impulse to change, and you cannot use the energy of fear to let it all go. But, if you make yourself aware of the fact that you are scared of a new situation, then you can be fully present and conscious in that moment of fear and you can work through it.

The most important thing for not letting fear get into your way is to be open-minded.

Being open-minded means to offer openness to new experiences and people, to be prepared to learn new things, at all times, in any given situation. It’s not about knowledge. Knowledge is relative. It is about openness.

Be open-minded and offer openness to new experiences.

Ensure you always listen to your conversational partner. Do not only do the talking yourself, but listen carefully to what your counterpart has to tell. Do not pretend to know everything already, because knowledge is relative. Show interest in your conversational partner. Maybe he/she will be able to teach you something new.

Knowledge is relative. Listen carefully instead.

There is no reason to be afraid of a new situation, especially when it comes down to, what you would call it, lack of knowledge. Knowledge can always be acquired.

What you should do though is to face that new situation with openness. Be curious and respect every person you meet along the way. Have faith and trust, because everything in life unfolds, as it is supposed to.

Turn your worries into confidence by being brave, open and by thinking positive.

You get what you expect.

Walk with positive thoughts, so that life can help you walk in the right direction.

Walk with open ears, so that you hear, what life wants to tell you.

Walk with open eyes, so that you see, what life wants to show you.

Walk with an open heart, so that you feel, what life wants to share with you.

Oh and don’t forget to smile.

Yours, Nina

 

Give yourself permission

These 3 words mean a lot to me. They have touched me right in my heart. They left me speechless and wiser.

These 3 words stem from my Reiki healer whilst spending my last weeks of my Latin America journey in Mexico. What I am writing here is obviously very personal, however, I feel the urge to share my experiences & feelings with you, as I’m sure, many of you will resonate with them. And I’d be more than happy to know that I’ve given you at least one Aha-moment.

When I arrived in Tulum for my yoga retreat back in October 2016, one of the yoga teachers recommended a massage therapist with spiritual background. Only this description fully hooked me and I booked a session right away. In my 1st session, I honestly expected a full body massage with a bit of therapeutic and spiritual inspiration, however it turned out completely different and better than anything I would have expected.

Without talking to the Reiki healer about my current life situation, my emotional pain and my lack of orientation, he immediately sensed my pains and restrictions, just by moving his hands over my body without touching me. Only by feeling my energetic blockades in my body. He stopped in my chest and heart area a few times as well as on my hips. I’ve been experiencing severe hip tightness before my trip and I was hoping that this guy could help me.

And whilst we all hope that physical pain comes exactly from that same area, we all know, that we must dig a bit deeper in order to understand the real origin of physical pain. In my case, my hip tightness was caused by emotional pain. Heart pain. Pain that I had not released yet, but instead had put it into my hips over months. The Reiki healer explained that we often tend to store all emotional pain, especially heartache, in our hips. And when he said that I could feel his words right in my heart. I had goose bumps everywhere. I felt really hot and sweaty, as the energy started to flow again after a long period of time. And of course, it made sense after a broken 10-year relationship and another break up in Latin America that my energy didn’t flow freely anymore. I think it’s fair to say that this is quite a lot to digest. Don’t get me wrong now, I don’t ask for your sympathy.

This post is more about allowing ourselves to feel the pain we are feeling, whenever we do feel pain. We mustn’t hide it in order to be strong. No. We are allowed to be weak as well. It is okay to feel sad, emotional, hurt and lost. I realised in this moment that I had kept myself together for so long, as I felt like I had to perform and that with the feelings of pain I couldn’t do so. So, I basically became pain resistent to be able to manage my life, which had to continue. I had to manage my work and finances, I had to manage a move, I had to keep myself busy at least for a certain period of time. In a way there wasn’t enough time to take care of myself. Or in other words, I didn’t allow myself to take care of myself.

As the session with the Reiki healer continued that day, there was another big emotional moment for me. He said that I could feel that I am different and that I have a strong connection to something superior than me, but that I wasn’t allowing myself to be different, because of fear. Fear for rejection, fear for the reaction of others. Fear to stand out, fear to outgrow other people in my life. Fear to be the best version of myself.

He urged me to come back from my head into my heart and to give myself permission to trust my intuition and feelings again. A door I had left closed for some time.

Give yourself permission to be the best version of yourself.

This moment felt like game-over and reset at the same time. I felt caught and relieved.

That day (24/10/2016) was my breakthrough. I knew this was only the beginning of something wonderful. What started as a journey through Latin America turned into a journey to myself. And I’m so grateful it did.

Yours, Nina