Feminine Success

Interview with Henrike Dorndecker about Feminine Success

H: What does Feminine Success mean for you?

N: For me, Feminine Success, means that we, women, use our soft skills more again. I think that we have really good access to our intuition, but that unfortunately we sometimes disconnect from it. However, if we have access to our intuition and if we follow our heart, then I know that we can truly be successful. But first it is really important to use our soft skills and our intuition or to reactivate these skills if they got lost over time and then use them goal oriented. I also strongly believe that the perception of ourselves is key to success. That we are aligned with ourselves and in balance. That we really know who we are and what we stand for in order to be truly successful, the feminine way.

H: Thank you. And which areas are important to you at the moment? What are your successes or which challenges are you currently facing?

N: Well I have to say that since I’ve been going deeper into my personal growth, I’ve succeeded in many ways. Obviously everyone defines success differently, but I looked at questions like ‘Who am I?’, ‘What do I stand for?’, ‘What are my core values?’, ‘What do I want to achieve for this world?’, so I looked at the big picture and I’ve transformed my life in many ways. Nevertheless, there’s always room to grow and I think that for me personally I still want to improve listening and following my intuition, especially faster. I want to shorten the head-heart dilemma, which I think we all know too well. I want to be able to access my intuition even quicker, because I truly think that what we intuitively think is what is right and what we come back to when it is time to decide. However, we often make a detour, because we become insecure by what our mind is telling us.

I also think that especially for us women it’s important that we allow ourselves to be softer again. In a world that feels somehow dominated by men, I think we have un-practised this softness, but it is so critical to Feminine Success. Be strong with softness.

H: Yes, right, I totally agree. What is your profession, Nina? What do you do? What do you offer and where do you see a link to Feminine Success here?

N: I work as Life Strategist. It is my vision to encourage people to reconnect with their true self and to live in full alignment with it. I follow a holistic approach based on body work (yoga), mind work as well as essential oils. Hence, it’s an approach covering body, mind and soul alike. I’m so enthusiastic about this topic as I understood that we cannot be successful only in one area of our lives, but that we need to strive for success in each area of our lives. Everyone of course defines ‘success’ individually which makes it so exciting. To become successful we need to know who we really are, and when we do, our success is unlimited. Moreover, we will be truly happy and fulfilled. If we know who we really are, then we have access to our true potential and we can activate it, but if not, we will never exploit our full potential. And this is what I do, what I’m passionate about, this is my mission.

H: Great, I think the world needs more people like you. Last but not least, do you have a personal advice that you want to share here?

N: Yes sure, my main topic is to encourage people to live in alignment with their true self, because I truly believe that we can only be truly happy, once we know who we are. So I would recommend, don’t be scared, follow your heart and intuition, do not apologise for who you are, feel your body again, watch your thoughts and emotions and reconnect with yourself. And to be very specific, practise yoga, breathe and meditate. If you have never done this before, just start with 1 minute for meditation or lie down with your hands resting on your belly and deeply inhale and exhale into your belly. This is a simple calming exercise, but you’ll notice the increase in your energy for sure.

H: Fantastic, Nina. Thank you. This was a great conversation and I loved your simple but very effective breathing exercise at the end. Thanks. 

N: Thank you for having me.

PS: If you understand German, also watch the live interview on Facebook on my page ninaspinknotes

Who loves, dances.

What comes to your mind when you hear the word love? Let me guess, probably words like ‘relationship, partner, man, woman’? Isn’t that interesting that the majority of us associates the word love with something extrinsic, something external, something outside of us, something that we give to someone and that we receive by someone else?

Love is intrinsic

Love is something intrinsic to you, to me, to all of us. It’s nothing outside of us, love is inside us. It’s called self-love. Love is simply there, it is what we were born with, with love from the inside out. Isn’t it beautiful? So, the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. If you hear love, and you think about the relationship with yourself, then that’s great. This is what should come to our mind, when we hear the word love. It is a process though, as we’ve been raised thinking we first need to do and to accomplish something before we are fully loved and before we can then love ourselves.

But NO! I want you to know that you are beautiful just the way you are, you are loved, just for being yourself, and it is our natural human potential to love ourselves.

When you fully love yourself, only then can you show true and deep love to someone else. Only then can you experience & receive love fully. So, fill up your love tank. It is already inside you. The good news is that you can grow love inside you and that there aren’t any bad news associated with it.

Grow love inside you

Here is some guidance on how to do that. Please note awareness is key.

  • Live in the present moment as much as possible. Do not overthink the past or the future, but focus on the now.
  • Practice more being, less doing.
  • Watch yourself. Say STOP to negative thoughts, once you notice them and before a whole story arises with it. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts instead.
  • Don’t be too hard on yourself, meaning do not fight your body, mind and spirit. Instead take care of your body, watch your thoughts and feel your present emotions, no matter if it is sadness, anger or jealousy. Do not fight it, accept what is, love what is.
  • Be creative and enjoy the process of creating. Whatever it may be. For me it’s for example creating a yoga class or a workshop. For me being creative also means dancing, following my feelings with my body and to express myself whilst dancing.
  • Live your life according to your true self.
  • Be authentic, be yourself, be happy.

What is your creative passion that only waits to be released?

Over the past years, I have developed a strong sense for myself, for my whole being. I have improved access to my intuition and I’ve sharpened my listening and ‘reading between the lines’ skills. I have more love and understanding for myself than ever. I live in line with my true self as best as I can, every single day. When my love tank is full, I can draw from it at any given moment, for myself and others!

Don’t be too hard on yourself

And yet, I also have days when the above doesn’t really work, when I feel stuck in the past or in the future, when I’m busy doing stuff, when I don’t feel well-aligned, when I feel distracted, sad or angry. But you know what? I do notice and being aware is the most important step for change and creation. Moreover, I’ve learned not to be too hard on myself anymore. It simply doesn’t help, instead it slows down the process even more. So, love yourself! Practice self-love! Be kind to yourself!

Who loves, dances

Oh yes! When you understand that love is within you always, once you’ve filled up your love tank and when you are kind to yourself always, then you will just feel so full of love that your heart will have no other chance but dance!

In my case, I literally mean dancing. I love dancing to express myself. Whilst dancing, I’m in my highest alignment. I’m always dancing, inside out!

When do you start ‘dancing’?

Much love.

Yours, Nina

 

 

 

 

Reconnect

I’ve heard the words ‘Connect’, ‘Disconnected’ and ‘Reconnect’ a lot lately. Maybe this is because so many people feel disconnected from themselves and want to reconnect with their body, mind, and spirit, or I’ve noticed it increasingly since it has become one of my favourite topics. I truly believe that if we lost connection with ourselves that we can get it back, we can build the connection with ourselves again. We can reconnect.

Reconnect on different levels

In my opinion, this needs to happen on different levels, physically, mentally and spiritually. Reconnecting with yourself means first of all to become aware, of your body, mind and soul. Ask yourself what is going on here? Where are my pain points physically? Where is my mind going? What keeps my mind busy? Is your soul telling you something? Do you sometimes feel restless? Why? When do you feel most disconnected with yourself? When do you most feel the urge to connect with yourself?

Notice and sit with it

Become aware, notice and sit with it to start with. You don’t have to take any action right away. I know it’s difficult, but it’s better not to fight it, because that would mean you are fighting life, and that in return would mean that you are fighting yourself.

So, start with bringing more awareness into your being. De-automize your being and your actions, whatever you do, do it less automatically, more consciously. Bring more awareness into your life.

Maybe you wonder now, what this is all about and how this should help you reconnect?

Awareness

I know from experience that bringing more awareness to my being, to my body, mind and soul is the first and only step required to commence the reconnection process.

How do you think you can connect with your beautiful life, if you don’t start connecting with yourself? How can you see, feel, smell and taste all the beautiful things in our world, if you cannot even see or feel yourself? Awareness and appreciation are your entry to reconnect with yourself.  Use your 5 senses consciously to bring more awareness into your life, they’ve been given to us with reason, so use them and enjoy them.

Feel Understand Heal

Once you feel & understand, you can heal. Once you start your individual reconnection process, you can come closer to your true self. Once you start the journey becoming the real you, you’ll feel lighter and happier. Of course, there will be difficult moments, of course, you won’t feel light 24/7, but again I know from my own inner journey how amazingly rewarding it is to start this process. To walk the liberating path of personal development.

A liberating feeling

It is liberating. ‘Cause every day feels lighter, with less bullshit, instead with more awareness and gratitude, especially for the small things in our life. Because I also noticed one more thing, it is not really the big things that make up our lives, it is the small things.

And if we manage to appreciate the small things, if we manage to appreciate ourselves, we can reconnect with ourselves, we can let go of bullshit and instead embrace all the beautiful new things flowing (or flooding!) into our lives.

Become yourself

The closer you get to yourself, the more you become yourself, the lighter you will feel and the happier you will be. Because you are truly you. Isn’t that a wonderful outlook?

You can be happy only if you become yourself

If you feel disconnected, if you sometimes wonder who you are, if you truly want to start your reconnection journey, but don’t know where to start, then I cannot imagine anything more beautiful than supporting you on your journey and taking that first step.

I have been on this journey (still am, it’s an ongoing process) and whilst it was tough at times, I am deeply grateful to have (had) people by my side supporting me.

If you resonate with this blog post, then check out my 3-hour workshop FEEL UNDERSTAND HEAL that I will be holding in Munich on Tuesday, 22nd May. I’m so excited about this journey and it gets better every day (with some exceptions haha).

Love to life, love to you and love to myself.

Yours, Nina

 

 

 

Encouraging Stories

© Organisation: Katarina Marevic Schmieder, Mutgestalter 1.0 / © Photo: Marija Krolo / kroloma

It all started with a message from my friend Kata asking “Are you free on the 22nd February or 7th March?” I replied “Yeah, the 22nd would be good. Why?” No reply.

Only in the evening, she texted again “OK, I did it. I’ve organised an event and just put it through Eventbrite. You will be one of the speakers at the event. It’s about encouraging storytelling.”

Wow. One of my goals was just about to become real.

I replied “Wow, that’s amazing. I feel honoured that you want me to tell my story at the event. Thank you for providing the platform. I’m in, but definitely with great respect.”

So, on the 22nd February I would be speaking about my story, my travels through Latin America and my inner journey. I was very excited. Cause joining an event as a speaker has been on my wish, goal and project list for a while. This is what I find so beautiful about life; just by letting go and trusting yourself and life, opportunities will be arising for you, giving you exactly what you want.

Life is working in your favour.

I’m not someone who spends ages preparing, I’m the more flexible, spontaneous type, as to me it feels more authentic, but of course I thought about the most important ‘stops’ in my life to make my story smooth and to pass on my main message.

We were 5 speakers in total and I was up 2nd. I won’t go into detail of every single story, but I will share with you what all stories had in common for me.

Every single story, every single experience is so beautiful and valuable, even if it doesn’t feel like it when you are just overrun by a situation.

It was lovely speaking about my personal journey again, as it enabled me to re-live certain aspects, to reflect on them again and to share my insights with our very nice guests. The atmosphere was casual, open and loving, just like in a living room. I felt absolutely comfortable in this safe environment, and yet we all had to leave our comfort zone just a tiny bit. Speaking in front of people doesn’t make me nervous, I always had to do marketing presentations in front of bigger audiences, but with it being such a personal presentation of our lives, emotions and experiences, definitely made it an event, where even I had to breathe deeper before I started speaking. I was vulnerable.

I felt very good whilst sharing my story, apparently too good, haha, since I spoke way longer than I had originally planned. See, this is why I don’t prepare as much, as it’s almost a waste of time for me. I’m better with just going with the flow.

Go with the flow

This brings me to my next insight. I noticed that all of our journeys were fully heart led, because deep down we knew what we had to do. Yes, there were doubts, yes there were fears, yes there were days where we wanted to give up, but deep down in our heart, we always knew the answer, to wherever our stories led us. We all knew that we must follow our heart. That we must trust ourselves and life. That we must believe that our first feeling, our intuition, is always right, and that it holds the key to our very own answer.

Courage is often the result of our heart and gut feel.

So, I encourage you to do the following:

Go out there, follow your heart and be brave!

What do you have to lose? Nothing!

What do you win? Getting closer and closer to the real you!

Yours, Nina

PS. The next events are already scheduled for the 22nd March and 19th April. Google Mutgestalter 2.0 and 3.0, if you want to be a part of this. 

 

Big Five for Life

My success story and hence realisation of one of my Big Five for Life already started when I was 17 years old. But I didn’t know anything about the Big Five for Life, needless to say that I didn’t understand then that I was about to get closer to realise my dream.

Back in high school, one teacher offered Spanish classes as an extracurricular activity. Since starting school, I was interested in languages. I like the idea of being able to talk to other people in their local language. I already knew German and English, so I signed up for the Spanish classes, with 100% enthusiasm. Only 6 months later my teacher organised an exchange programme to the beautiful and cosy town of Linares, Jan in Andalusia. I was really happy with my host family and my exchange partner Ana, who was 3 years older than me. Jackpot at this age, since I would be hanging out with 20 year olds. The family only spoke Spanish, nothing else, so I really had to make an effort to make myself understood. The result: after only 2 weeks in Spain (plus the 6 months before), I spoke enough Spanish to get by, to order drinks and food, to ask for directions or to introduce myself.

When I returned home, I was sure to continue learning Spanish, but my dream had grown bigger. I was inspired by my teacher who spent 6 months in Argentina plus I was driven by the idea of speaking several languages.

So, my dream suddenly became clear: I want to travel through Latin America someday. I want to improve my Spanish skills and most importantly I want to feel this feeling again. My inner joy like a child, that swings back and forth, a feeling of warmth and openness, that I experienced during my exchange programme, a feeling of extensiveness and independence, and trust that

Everything is possible.

And so one of my biggest Big Five for Life was born: Travelling through Latin America. I didn’t have any idea, when or how, but it was crystal clear why and that I want to do this.

I’m fast forwarding to my time as a student of business administration. In 2005 I had the opportunity to study in Wales, which I grabbed instantly. Why? I felt this feeling again. Of course I was there to improve my English skills, but the university also offered Spanish classes, and so I signed up again, studying Spanish for another 8 months. I mean who says that I couldn’t learn two languages at the same time? Right…!

I moved to London in 2012, as my boyfriend at the time worked in finance, and because I simply wanted to. I had this feeling of travel pleasure again, the desire to experience something new. Of course, it was also my plan to find a job in London as marketing manager, but what drove me most was the desire to speak a different language, to dive into a new culture and to meet new people. It was simply exciting.

After 2 years in that job and a feeling of having settled into the job, I felt the urge to learn something (new) again. And there it was again, my thoughts about Latin America and Spanish. I asked for recommendations for Spanish schools on Facebook and one school that was recommended most was Instituto Cervantes. Said and one. I called the school, arranged an appointment for a level test, and started my classes only a few weeks later. I pushed through all classes, once a week, every Monday, after work, even in summer.

In 2014, my boyfriend and me broke up, but since I was happy in London with my job, my friends and everything else, I simply wasn’t ready to close this chapter. So I stayed, against the exceptions of family and friends.

Do you know this feeling, when you know? When you intuitively know what is right for you? I felt exactly this feeling. I simply knew that my journey wasn’t over. Not here, not now.

Trust your intuition.

In June 2015 I got together with my new boyfriend from London, who was my colleague at the same time. Only a few months later, we were told that our company would be sold to a German company. I saw a big potential for my career at this company, since I was the only one speaking German and English fluently and understanding both cultures. However, during the acquisition, I realised that I didn’t want to continue working for this company. And still, my thoughts were going in circles for weeks, what to do next, back and forth. But suddenly there it was. Clarity. About quitting. Moreover, I was 100% sure that this would be the moment. I long had this dream to travel through Latin America, but still there were always reasons against it (in my head), why this wouldn’t be possible, for example due to a relationship, a job, not enough money, not enough time etc. But in this moment there weren’t any obstacles any more. Not even my relationship at the time was an obstacle for me. I took my boyfriend aside and talked him through my dream of travelling through Latin America and that the timing just seemed perfect. I told him that I swore myself that next time I’d quit a job, I would go on this journey. And he liked the idea.So we both quit our safe and well-paid jobs in London in February 2016.

Our research started. Which countries, how long, when to start, which Spanish school.

I just couldn’t believe that my dream of travelling through Latin America would finally (at the age of 34) become true, yet at the same time it felt so natural, as if was meant to be. I was so much looking forward to this journey and my travels kicked off on the 5th June 2016. Me, Nina, with my 15kg backpack, on her way to the first stop, Havana in Cuba. The return flight was planned for the 26th September, so we had just under 4 months of travelling and adventure ahead of us. The adventure came, but differently.

We travelled from Cuba to Guatemala, where we stayed for 2 weeks in Antigua in a Spanish school. We continued to Nicaragua and Costa Rica. I really wanted to go to Mexico, but my boyfriend wasn’t so keen on it, and since it was more a feeling than anything else, I couldn’t really argue why I wanted to go. We then travelled to Colombia, to Ecuador, and here we visited a Spanish school again in Montañita, a surf town, where we spent 2 weeks in a hotel right at the beach. Next stop was Peru and on the peak point of this country, Machu Picchu, our relationship also arrived at a peak named end.

We still travelled to Bolivia together, but it was clear that we couldn’t make this work, regarding our communication, our wishes as well as our idea of relationship and partnership. Nevertheless, the end came kind of as a surprise to me and it therefore hurt and it was an end full of tears. But in all this emotional drama, I knew, I had to leave this place asap in order to create space, to have air to breathe. So, 2 days later (mid-August) I was on a plane to Uyuni, to see the biggest salt flats of the world. And to feel this feeling again. My Why.

Whilst approximately 95% of friends and family suggested to come back home (but what was that home, London or Munich?) I felt deep inside me, that my journey was not over yet. That this journey would continue. That it had only just started. And so it was.

What is it that YOU want?

The adventure was bigger and better than I could have ever imagined. In the following days I decided to continue my travels as originally planned, but solo. It was my dream, one of my Big Five for Life, remember? I simply couldn’t stand the idea that a break up should erase this dream. No Way! It simply didn’t feel right to stop my travels, actually I felt the opposite. I suddenly had this deep trust, despite the heartache, that everything was happening for a reason and that it was right and important for me to make this experience. For me, my journey and my path of life.

Trust your intuition.

So, I decided to continue my travels on my own. In my pace, and with a feeling of floating, to simply live into the day. And my journey began and with it the fulfilment of one of my Big Five for Life.

From Bolivia, I flew to Chile and spent two wonderful weeks in Santiago de Chile. Due to the emotional chaos that I was in, I had somehow forgotten that my return flight to London was in 2 weeks already. And there it was again, the dilemma, that we all know.

Heart says, head says.

My heart spoke clearly, but softly to me to extend the journey, but my head, also shaped by the opinion of others, requested to fly back to London on 26th September, as it had all been planned.

My heart won! I was getting warm. I called the travel office and asked for flight options  to somewhere nice and warm, with sun, sand and sea. I just knew what I needed for my heart, my soul and a relaxed finale of my journey. Guess what I booked? Mexico. Yes!

But first things first, because from Chile I first travelled to Argentina. Since I had extended my trip for another 7 weeks, I took my time to explore this beautiful country a bit more. I met a nice woman in Buenos Aires who invited me into her casa in La Rioja.

And I felt this feeling again: warmth, openness, and freedom. When I spotted a swing in a giant garden, I was so happy and I started swinging like a child. Playful and content.

I spent my last 4 weeks in Mexico. Mexico and especially Tulum has become my magic place. A place of reflection, of inner peace, of sheer pleasure and the journey to myself. It was most likely the most important journey in my life. An experience I would have never made, if I had given up on my dream of travelling through Latin America.

And in the last weeks I gained even more clarity whilst sitting at the beach of Tulum: I move back into my hometown Munich. I want to deepen my yoga and meditation practice. And I will finally write a blog, inspired by my (inner) journey.

And these visions became reality. I live in a beautiful flat in Munich, I’m doing my yoga teacher training and I launched my blog, this blog. My heart project. The name Nina’s Pink Notes is based on a pink notebook that was my loyal companion during my travels.

Today, I’m very grateful for my experiences, because they showed me how important it is to trust myself, my heart and my inner voice. My experiences made me stronger, wiser and brought me on a more beautiful and authentic way.

If you are currently in a situation and you don’t know what to do or decide, let me tell you one thing. Really trust your intuition and follow your heart!

Yours, Nina

 

What do you want?

I had booked a 5 day yoga retreat in Tulum, Mexico, with the intention to become calmer and to move out of my head and into my heart. The retreat took place in the hotel Yoga Shala, which turned to be one of my favourite places to stay in Tulum.

The retreat greatly combined yoga with meditation and coaching input. One day, we spent the entire morning looking at different areas in our life. The task was to dream the best imaginable scenario in each area and to write down a few sentences.

The areas we looked at were:

  • Truth – Communication – Listening
  • Intuition
  • Connection to Higher Power
  • Sexual – Sensual
  • Will – Power – Self Worth
  • Love – Heart

I still have all my (pink) notes from that day. Looking at them now approximately one year later is so powerful. And I notice one thing amongst them all. It’s all about connection. It has been back then and it is still now with an even stronger feeling.

For me, the first point was majorly about having enriching, inspiring and authentic conversations with people where I can be the best listener without any expectations or boundaries. Where I’m truly present in that moment. This is still true for me now. I’m still practicing paying full attention during a conversation though, as sometimes I can still be distracted.

Intuition was all about connecting with my heart and my gut feel, as it will speak the truth, always. This is still true for me now and I’m getting better each and every day, but there are still moments where I overhear my intuition and just go with what I should do instead of what I would like to do.

Connection to higher power was about being my own Goddess and feeling amazing with myself at all times. This is not my truth anymore. I remember that I was lost on that one during the session, as I’m not religious, and I simply didn’t know what I wanted to be connected to. So I guess I just wrote something. However, I do know now. I feel connected to the universe and the more I trust myself, others and the world, the better my life seems to develop.

Sexuality and sensuality was strongly linked to love during the retreat and it is still now. I do believe that the moment you indulge sexually, you indulge emotionally. Because we all want to feel connected, we all want to feel loved.

Will, power and self-worth were all about being heard as much as possible and being able to express my authentic me. This is still true for me now. If I can express myself, I feel great, I am authentic and I love myself.

Love was probably the most relevant area for me. And it is still now. I want to become an endlessly loving person that gives love, but doesn’t expect it back. A person who is able to let go. At the end of the day, we all live for love!

Now, it’s your turn. Make yourself comfortable with a beautiful notebook and a nicely coloured pen (mine are pink of course) and write down a few sentences to each of the areas, without thinking too much, just write down what comes to your mind first. Let your heart lead the process.

Once you have completed this, continue with the following questions:

  • What do I want?
  • Why? Which feeling would I like to feel when I get what I want?
  • What will happen for me, if I create this change in my life?

Your answers will guide you to your purpose of existence. If the answers are strong enough, they will be your key motivation to live the life you really want.

Yours, Nina

 

Give yourself permission

These 3 words mean a lot to me. They have touched me right in my heart. They left me speechless and wiser.

These 3 words stem from my Reiki healer whilst spending my last weeks of my Latin America journey in Mexico. What I am writing here is obviously very personal, however, I feel the urge to share my experiences & feelings with you, as I’m sure, many of you will resonate with them. And I’d be more than happy to know that I’ve given you at least one Aha-moment.

When I arrived in Tulum for my yoga retreat back in October 2016, one of the yoga teachers recommended a massage therapist with spiritual background. Only this description fully hooked me and I booked a session right away. In my 1st session, I honestly expected a full body massage with a bit of therapeutic and spiritual inspiration, however it turned out completely different and better than anything I would have expected.

Without talking to the Reiki healer about my current life situation, my emotional pain and my lack of orientation, he immediately sensed my pains and restrictions, just by moving his hands over my body without touching me. Only by feeling my energetic blockades in my body. He stopped in my chest and heart area a few times as well as on my hips. I’ve been experiencing severe hip tightness before my trip and I was hoping that this guy could help me.

And whilst we all hope that physical pain comes exactly from that same area, we all know, that we must dig a bit deeper in order to understand the real origin of physical pain. In my case, my hip tightness was caused by emotional pain. Heart pain. Pain that I had not released yet, but instead had put it into my hips over months. The Reiki healer explained that we often tend to store all emotional pain, especially heartache, in our hips. And when he said that I could feel his words right in my heart. I had goose bumps everywhere. I felt really hot and sweaty, as the energy started to flow again after a long period of time. And of course, it made sense after a broken 10-year relationship and another break up in Latin America that my energy didn’t flow freely anymore. I think it’s fair to say that this is quite a lot to digest. Don’t get me wrong now, I don’t ask for your sympathy.

This post is more about allowing ourselves to feel the pain we are feeling, whenever we do feel pain. We mustn’t hide it in order to be strong. No. We are allowed to be weak as well. It is okay to feel sad, emotional, hurt and lost. I realised in this moment that I had kept myself together for so long, as I felt like I had to perform and that with the feelings of pain I couldn’t do so. So, I basically became pain resistent to be able to manage my life, which had to continue. I had to manage my work and finances, I had to manage a move, I had to keep myself busy at least for a certain period of time. In a way there wasn’t enough time to take care of myself. Or in other words, I didn’t allow myself to take care of myself.

As the session with the Reiki healer continued that day, there was another big emotional moment for me. He said that I could feel that I am different and that I have a strong connection to something superior than me, but that I wasn’t allowing myself to be different, because of fear. Fear for rejection, fear for the reaction of others. Fear to stand out, fear to outgrow other people in my life. Fear to be the best version of myself.

He urged me to come back from my head into my heart and to give myself permission to trust my intuition and feelings again. A door I had left closed for some time.

Give yourself permission to be the best version of yourself.

This moment felt like game-over and reset at the same time. I felt caught and relieved.

That day (24/10/2016) was my breakthrough. I knew this was only the beginning of something wonderful. What started as a journey through Latin America turned into a journey to myself. And I’m so grateful it did.

Yours, Nina

 

Self-love

Self-love has truly been an affair of my heart, in particular for the past year. For me, self-love is strongly related to moving from my head to my heart, meaning being good to myself as much as I can.

In the past years, I was often stuck in my head and my heart didn’t manage to prevail. I always thought I’m so emotional, and yes I am an emotional person. But I also had to learn to accept my emotions, to feel all feelings I’m feeling and especially to allow for my heartache instead of suppressing it.

I had to re-learn trusting my intuition and gut feel more than anything else in the world, more than the kindly meant suggestions of family and friends, the expectations of society as well as the often heard don’ts in life. Don’t do this, don’t do that. This is too dangerous. This is not safe enough. This is insecure. This is not right for you. You cannot do this. You don’t have enough money. You are selfish. You are egoistic. You are a dreamer.

I could continue this list of limiting beliefs that I’ve come across in my life, like we all have, but the above are probably the ones I’ve heard most often. Looking back, it’s obviously a shame, that I wasn’t strong and self-confident enough to push back or not to listen. Although deep down these beliefs didn’t feel right for me, I still believed them and acted accordingly. Because, what can be so wrong about something that most people do, right?

With two break ups in not even two years and on the road traveling, I got to a point, where I wanted to reflect my life. I felt the urge to understand myself more. Maybe this only came up for me, as I had the time back then? Either way, I booked a yoga retreat in Tulum, Mexico and I’m so grateful I did. Because what happened there was magical and Tulum has become my magic place.

During the yoga retreat, I practiced yoga everyday, I meditated, I did a detox from social media, I ate very healthily (especially I discovered smoothie bowls), I solely focused on myself and my well being. I basically practiced self-love, and it came up very naturally for me. But I wanted to go a bit deeper and when one of the yoga teachers mentioned a Reiki healer, my attention was there. I arranged an appointment with him the next day and without telling him anything about my life, he noticed immediately that my heart was broken and that I still hadn’t released some pain from the past. This pain blocked me from moving forwards and from accepting myself for who I truly am. It has also caused my hips and groins to tighten up. The Reiki healer explained that we tend to put all our emotional baggage that we are not able to release into our hip area. Obviously, the tension didn’t build up in a day, but within the last couple of years. But suddenly it all made sense. Just him mentioning this triggered lots of tears, as I felt so relieved and understood.

My healing process was about to start and should continue.

This moment was my biggest moment of self-love, as I realized the following:

  • I’ve always felt that I was a bit different and unique in way, but I didn’t allow myself to really be, out of fear for the reaction of others.
  • I’ve always felt a spiritual connection to something bigger than me (I’m not religious, so I’d say I believe in the Universe), but I was not in the right environment to truly live this spiritual connection and I simply didn’t do (responsibility).
  • I’ve always been a person questioning behaviors, reactions and situations, but very often I was scared of challenging other people for fear of rejection and being regarded as too critical or arrogant.
  • I’ve always felt I was ahead of the game, but I was afraid of overtaking people.

This resulted in me simply adapting to pre-defined standards, without understanding why I should do it this way. So, for many, many years I lived a life without being truly true to myself.

However, only if we dare to be brave and be ourselves by practicing self-love, we can walk the way to happiness!

  • Love yourself so much that you allow yourself to be yourself.
  • Love yourself so much, that you live your true self.
  • Love yourself so much, that you allow yourself to be in your highest alignment.
  • Love yourself so much, that you truly believe you can be everything you want to be.

Yours, Nina